


Saving Alfie

by IHaveNiamFeels, kissmeniaz



Category: One Direction
Genre: Abusive Louis, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholic Louis, Drug Addict Louis, Footballer Louis, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Liam, abused Liam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:11:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4097029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHaveNiamFeels/pseuds/IHaveNiamFeels, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissmeniaz/pseuds/kissmeniaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fate has it ways of shining and blemishing, unfortunately for Liam and Louis it wasn't all that good. Liam was in a relationship with his beloved Louis, everything was perfect until Louis hit the ice, pilled off his face every night, becoming abusive, an alcoholic and an uncaring boyfriend. Little does Louis know Liam’s pregnant with his baby, it’s a fight for Liam to keep his beloved little boy safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> the story is off to a wonderful start, I think and we'll work on it as much as we possibly can!  
> we love you all (: x
> 
> \- Kahlia and Celina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam didn't know when it started, non did he know why it started, but his Louis has gone wild. From high school sweethearts to as wild as wolves. Liam definitely disliked it, more than anything.

Liam's body was aching, sore all over as he made his way towards the kitchen. Liam's arms reaching for the cupboard as he moved his hands for the glass, which was on the top shelf gazing down at him.

This was the same routine every day, he would grab a glass place it down on the counter filled with liquor and then he waited for Louis to arrive back home. If it wasn't there waiting for him to have after a hard day of work, bad things would happen. But half the time, he would do it to Liam anyway and he hated the outcome.

He finished filling the glass right to the brim, placing the alcohol back into the fridge. He watched as the alcohol swirled around in the glass, small bubbles whizzing around as it slowed down to a halt.

Liam jumped in fright, jumping back as the front down barged open banging against the wall. He froze mildly as he tried not to show his undeniable fear.

Louis pulled his jacket off, placing it down on the floor, as for his shoes as well. "Baby, I'm home!" He called, his pupils massive and groggy. Louis walked over towards the counter gathering the drink in his hand, making it encounter with his lips. It was like he had just run a marathon, the way he slurred it down, as liquor ran down the sides of his mouth, dropping on his cigarette burnt top.

He dropped the glass down on the bench, licking his lips as he made eye contact with the brown eyed boy. "You look so tight in that top, Li," He breathed, making his way towards the tired and sore lad. His hands gripped at Liam's hips jolting them, hard against his own, earning a yelp the younger boy. A little wince in pain shoot through the poor boys lips as he did so, his hands tracing down the back of his spine.

"Have a go - good day love?" Liam blemished as Louis' lips attacked his neck, his lips molding against the crook of his neck and his collarbone.

"Mmm," He muttered silently, his hands wrapping around his torso as he ran his fingers up the front of Liam's shirt, leaving lingering touches and forceful grabs in multiple places. "Yeah. Heaps. New. Dealers. Today." He breathed in and out between the kisses.

Liam hated it. He hated how this was his job, how he sold drugs to people, as well as playing football on the side, how he didn't care that it was illegal and could kill, not only himself but plenty of others too. So many times Liam had wanted to run away, get away from him, but he never had the guts. He loves him too much to see him go, deep down Liam knows there's that same Louis he used to know and he hopes to get him back, but for now Liam has to help him, help out of this habit.

He grabbed Liam's thighs, throwing him roughly onto the counter, him slowly jumping up afterwards, as he pushed him down forcibly. His hands tracing the brim of Liam's t-shirt slowly raising it up. He held his breath tight, hoping he wouldn't realize. Luckily he didn't his hands twisting around Liam's tight stomach, attaching his chest with love bites. Liam couldn't help but let out a moan that was just thriving to escape.

"You like that, babe," He panted, licking his lips, climbing his way up Liam's body, his leg pushing tightly against Liam's groin.

"Mmm," Liam moaned as Louis' soft but rough lips touched his. Louis felt him go hard, Liam's touching his as their pants rubbed against each other's. It felt so good, but at the same time Liam didn't want it, he didn't feel like this needed to be taken any further, he wasn't prepared to risk anything, for he sake of the baby and himself.

"Take. Em'. Off." He said, moving his lips with Liam's. Liam couldn't reply as he kissed harder, getting the taste of liquor and cigarette as his tongue made contact with his chapped ones.

"Nnn." Liam cried, trying to pry Louis off his defensive body, struggling sadly as he knitted his eyebrows together in desperation. He held his arms tight pushing them hard into the counter, his breathing beginning to get rough.

"Get. Em'. Off!" His voice raised, feeling his nails piercing into Liam's skin making him hiss in pain, making his head jerk against Louis'.

"Lo - Lou, s - s - stop," Liam stuttered. Louis' eyes growing big as his lips became unstuck from Liam's. He pulled his head away from his looking Liam deeply in the eyes.

"What, did you say?" He questioned with anger.

"No, Lou, don't be like this," Liam pleaded, before he gasped loudly as Louis held him tightly around the shoulders. He could feel his shoulders beginning to bruise. Louis looked Liam in the eye pushing him harshly off the counter making him, shout out in pain as he collided with the floor.

With an instant, Liam's hands wrapped around his stomach holding it tightly protecting it from any danger. Liam felt his nasty kicks colliding with his legs, belting the crap out of him. "You fucking bastard, you heard me. Why do I even bother with you?"

"I dunno L - Lou." Liam struggle not to let his strangled sob apparent. Tears were welling in his eyes, if only he knew, if only he knew the pain he was causing. If only he knew that his unborn child was planted inside of him, maybe dead for all he knew.

"I only bother because I'm the only one with enough sense to love you, do you think anyone else would put up with this Liam? do you really believe anyone would listen to you're smart ass mouth talk? or be so lenient with you when you refuse to give someone what they wanted? I don't believe they would. Get it through your head, It's better to listen to me, than to not." Louis spat.

The kicks stopped as soon Liam heard the door slam, he laid there on the floor, his hands still gathered around his stomach rubbing the tight but flat belly.

He jolted slightly, using his hands to shield his eyes for a moment, his body had since gone numb completely, and the room still echoed with the sound of the slamming door.

Liam brought his legs up underneath himself, cowering his body down slightly so he was stationed in a hunched position. His eyes clenched closed.

"Fuck." He cursed, uncurling himself to lean against the cupboards behind him. His hands trying to uncrinkle his tangled shirt.

His breathing was raging and uneven, his fingers shaking as he rubbed them against his temple. His hand clutching the necklace around his neck. The football charm feeling tight and restricting against his skin, like it was trying to suffocate him.

He could feel and taste the unpleasant blood, seeping out of his nose and down onto his clothes. His fingers laced in the red colour.

He hiccuped loudly, squinted his eyes closed, before he managed to grab the cupboard handles and lever himself up, using the tea towel to fold against his nose. Whilst he fished his phone out of his pocket.

Harry. Harry was one of the few positive people Liam had in his life right about now, and even though he might not be aware of Louis' behaviour. He knew more about Liam’s pregnancy then Louis did, and Liam was eager to keep it that way.

He feared, that if Louis found out then he would target those places more than he should, linger his fingers or fists there for an extra few seconds, just so Liam could definitely feel it.

He could hear Louis now 'you ruined my life Liam! With a fucking bastard child that I don’t need!' Then he'd grip Liam’s jaw so tightly he swears his teeth might fall out. Grab the nearest thing he can find and tossed it over him. Glass. Porcelain, china. Then he'd leave.

The abuse wasn't Liam’s issue he could handle that, he just couldn't handle losing his baby or Louis. Because despite Louis' outrageous behaviour Liam knew there was a better side to him.

One with lingering touches and soft kisses, where he would cradle Liam’s head against his neck when he was sad or play with his hair when he felt sick. He would laugh at just about anything and would have a joke or smart comment to reply with. Liam knew that Louis was still there.

It wasn't the alcohol, it was the never ending pile up of pills that went down with it. Cocaine was one of the ones he found in Louis' football bag not a day ago, along with two needles and a bottle of whisky.

Liam didn't know when it started, non did he know why it started, but his Louis has gone wild. From high school sweethearts to as wild as wolves. Liam definitely disliked it, more than anything.

For a long time Liam had fought back, not so much with words but with his self defense. He would push him back or shove him until he stopped, but with Louis' countless drug in take and gym work, his strength got the better of Liam and eventually he gave up and took what he got.

"You'll be okay, bubba," he cried. "You'll be okay."

He shakily, sniffled and pressed the phone against his ear gently, watching the broken glass as he stationed it between his shoulder and ear, grabbing the multiple purpose cleaner and a towel, he started wiping up the mess that had just been created. His lips quivering when Harry picked up.

"Hello," Harry answered through the phone.

"Harry, can you come quick?" Liam pleaded, on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, everything okay? Liam, is that baby alright?"

"Just come quick, yeah? I fell."

"Oh my god, Liam, I'll be there right away, just hang on, yeah?"

And with that, the call ended, he lied, he had to, he couldn't know the real truth. It just wasn't allowed. Liam gathered his jumper, placing it over his head and covering his bruising body before managing to standing up, limping his way over towards the couch. Tears spilled from his eyes as he waited for Harry to arrive.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam felt a pair of wet lips press against his forehead and the bed dip down for a moment or two. He felt fingers in his slightly long hair, just massaging his scalp gently. "You're so beautiful." Louis whispered and Liam struggled to keep his eyes closed. "Goodnight." He said before going over to the onsuite, at least he had the decency to get himself off instead of "waking" Liam. So Liam just sighed in relief, deciding he'd call Harry whilst Louis was at practice tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments would be wonderful!
> 
> -Kahlia and Celina

 

Liam stood quietly in the doorway, eye glued to Louis as he downed what he could rationally guess was his third glass. Liam couldn't put his finger on when Louis stated drinking like this. Maybe it happened so sutlely that Liam didn’t see it, maybe he'd been drinking for ages and just did when Liam was around. Liam honestly didn't know. Liam could tell anybody he hated how Louis behaviour. How Louis acted. He just hated the new Louis and he wondered what it would actually take to get his old Louis back.

Liam wondered what Louis would do if he packed his bags and left. If he got him kicked off his beloved football team, or if he told somebody and sent him to rehab. He wanted too know, but at the same time he didn't.

He hadn't realised he'd been standing there for at least fifteen minutes until he looked at the clock. Louis' back was still to him and he hadn't acknowledged that Liam was standing, existing, right in the hall. Liam's eyes literally grew double in size when he saw that little packet of powder in Louis' hand.

He squeezed his eyes together tightly after he saw Louis fix his line. He turned himself around and walked straight up the spiral stairs. Focused on the reflection of Louis' laptop, listening to him slamming his fingers against the key rapidly. Once upstairs he pulled off his hoodie and crawled into the bed he shared with his Louis. Smiling when he rolled onto his back and saw the tiny bump his tummy was creating. It wasn't very noticeable. But he knew it was there. "Hi bubba." Liam whispered and thumbed across his own hips, taking in the bruising on his body. "I promise I'll keep you safe."

Liam then looked over at the photo that always sat on Louis' bedside table. It was a photograph from a few years ago, when Louis' first decided he wanted to play football. The picture was taken by Louis' younger sister, and Louis had an arm wrapped so tightly around Liam. Liam was actually smiling a real smile. He doesn't know why that Louis changed, but he wanted him back desperately. It just got worse by the day. By the hour even. "That's you're papa." Liam whispered, expecting the foetus to know and see the exact picture he was looking at. "I swear he's amazing love... he's just lost his way."

Liam sighed, feeling slightly defeat and uneasy and rolled onto his side, touching his eye ever so gently, in fear that if he touched it too much it would fall out of his head. He winced and sunk down into his pillow, tucking his spare hand underneath it to secure it, he totally knew and expected people to ask questions about it, it wasn't exactly harf to hide. Quickly formulating a little white lie. He didn't mind lying for Louis. Louis got him out of so much during secondary school. "Liam?" Was the only voice that made him pull his hand away from his eye, freezing up slightly, trying to stop himself from being noticed. He closed his eyes, just hoping Louis would leave him alone and not harm him, just for once. He didn't want to be bothered by him at this said moment. He was having a relaxing nice time with his son or daughter. Louis wasn't about to come in and ruin the moment.

Liam felt a pair of wet lips press against his forehead and the bed dip down for a moment or two. He felt fingers in his slightly long hair, just massaging his scalp gently. "You're so beautiful." Louis whispered and Liam struggled to keep his eyes closed. "Goodnight." He said before going over to the onsuite, at least he had the decency to get himself off instead of "waking" Liam. So Liam just sighed in relief, deciding he'd call Harry whilst Louis was at practice tomorrow.

Liam had woken up to an actually smiling Louis, he looked sober and tired. "Good morning beautiful." Louis whispered. Liam blushed lightly and smiled a bit, feeling his heart shift slightly.

"Good morning."

"Would you like breakfast?" He asked. Liam nodded ever so politely, giving Louis a reassuring smile.

"Can I have those pancakes you used to make me?" Liam asked, his voice nothing above a whisper, Louis smiled it was genuine.

"Of course you can my love." Louis kissed his forehead and scurried down to the kitchen quickly. Liam smiled, it felt nice not to woken up to yelling and screaming or hitting. Liam had gotten up, pulling his hoodie on. He was just a bit self-conscious. He didn't want Louis to hate his body. He wanted Louis to love his body. More than any compared to the other shit he does. Liam even pushed some of the pill bottles from the medicine cabinet in the linen cabinet in the corner. Louis never looked for linens. Maybe if he couldn't find his, he would be this happy all the time.

Liam could only hope.

He'd made his way to the kitchen and he saw Louis each for his whiskey glass, but he stopped suddenly. "You can do it Lou." Louis whispered to himself and he shut the cabinet. Liam smiled softly and took his seat at the table. He saw little bits of powder still on the table. "Lou... baby... can you bring a cleaning rag here please?" Liam asked carefully.

"I'm busy making your breakfast Liam." Louis said softly. He was obviously battling the urge for a drink and Liam could see that, so he didn't push. He just went and grabbed a rag himself, cleaning up the remnants of the powder and threw the entire rag in the rubbish, not wanting to deal with it any longer.

Liam and Louis sat in silence comfortably. Just eating their breakfast. Louis' eyes not travelling far from his football bag. "What's on your mind?" Liam asked, noticing how he particularly kept looking back at his bag.

"Nothing!" Louis snapped a bit. "Nothing's on my mind. I'm sorry.." Louis whispered, hearing the clock hit that magic twelve. He kissed Liam on the head, grabbed his bag and rushed out to his car without thinking about picking up his plate. So Liam sighed.

"Okay then..." Liam mumbled and cleaned up the kitchen by himself.

Within the hour, Liam and Harry were sat at the kitchen table, teacups and pastries sitting in front of them. "What happened to your eye?" Harry asked, completely baffled by the reasoning Liam gave him.

"I tripped over the table on Louis' side of the bed and knocked the tray over and it hit me." He mumbled, forcing a blush to his cheeks. Louis kept an ash tray up in their room and Liam hated it. He'd tried to get rid of it multiple times.

"A tray... hit you in the eye." Harry said, piecing it all together. "You're for sure?"

"I know what happened to my eye Harry."

"So how's Louis?" Harry asked and smiled, knowing Liam got somewhat happy when it was asked. Liam still thought of Louis as the Louis he met in secondary school.

"He's great. I plan on going to his match in a few weeks." Liam smiled. If he even stays sober enough to play, was what he thought.

"What about little Louis?" Harry chuckled, motioning to Liam's tiny, but growing, bump.

"He's not a little Louis... he's... I haven't got a name for him just yet but I will. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me... besides Louis of course..." he was even hesitant to say that. "I call him bubba for now." Liam whispered and placed his hand over his tummy.

Harry only smiled at him and patted him gently on the back knowing Liam was hiding something about Louis from him.

"Come on Li, let's go watch a movie and I'll get some cream for your eye." He replied, steadying Liam as he stood. "You are aware that you can tell me anything and I won't judge don't you?" He asked next, Liam pauses for a moment before nodding shyly.

"Of course I know that Harry, if anything concerning happens then I will let you know okay? Don't worry. We are okay. Perfectly okay" he lied, but smiled none the less because his Louis made him pancakes this morning and he couldn't ask for anything more right about now.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fucking hell Louis. Don't leave me again." He cried, his forehead pressing against Louis' jutted out lips. "I missed you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you enjoy as we put a lot of time and effort into these chapters!
> 
> -Kahlia and Celina

 

 

Liam was sitting in a poor internet cafe watching Louis' game off a sketchy livestream.  
He was clad in long a sleeves shirt and his gym pants. A beanie pulled right down to the top of his eyes and a pair of shades shielding them. A scarf wrapped around his neck securely.

It was rare to see Liam outside, but he knew Louis came home at strange times, so meeting with his friends was better off at little cafes.

He was waiting for Harry, silently cheering at his laptop screen. It was one thing he always noticed about Louis. He was happy when he played. Smiling, hugging people, doing cartwheels. Liam didn’t know how long it had been since he'd seen that Louis in person.

Louis was tense on his good days with Liam, uptight and jumpy. He was pretty certain that came from the drugs he took. But it was like when he played he was that alcohol and drug free Louis he once knew. The one with soft touches and lingering kisses.

Liam of course was sporting a purple bruise down one side of his face. Hence the choice of clothing. Scattered marks on his arms that travelled down his thighs and legs.

Liam had his hands tucked under his forming bump, the little mount. The one he dreaded if Louis saw it. The one he was so utterly scared of losing. A positive piece of Louis and himself.

By the time Harry arrived Liam's brain had done a complete three sixty loop of thoughts, he had long forgotten about the football game Louis was winning and all his focus was placed on getting Louis better, saving his son. But he had no idea how we going to do it. It wasn't easy. He figured that.

"So have you told him yet?" Harry asked, as he sat down, setting his laptop up and curling his legs up against Liam’s chair.

"Told who what?" Liam asked. Telling himself to play it dumb. Even though he knew exactly what Harry was talking about.

"Louis, about the baby? You said you were going to tell him." Harry frowned, jutting out his bottom lip slightly. More for effort obviously.

"Oh yeah! He's football has been crazy so I'm waiting for the perfect time." He hummed, averting his eyes down to his headphones in his hands.

"So that's a no? You haven't told him then?" Harry questioned, closing his laptop screen.

"No I haven't, but I will okay? So stop worrying so much!" Liam assured. Patting Harry’s forearm before stuffing his head phones back in.

The rest of the visit was merely silent with the occasional chat here and there but Liam always felt comfortable, Harry was there so it still made him feel like he was having a day out.

He headed home reluctantly after that, watching Louis upturn their house, he was marching around the place, Liam just stood back, not wanting to get in the way, frightened that one sudden move could be the worst. He sighed to himself and tried his best not to catch Louis' eye. He didn't want to deal with Louis right now. He didn't want to push that thin line he was already treading. "Liam!" Louis yelled as soon as he caught the boy trying to sneak off.

"Dammit." Liam muttered under his breath, but nonetheless turned to face his lover. "Yes Lou?"

"Where'd you put my things?" His voice was trying to be calm, but it wasn't exactly convincing. He was raging, red in the face.

"Everything is in your football bag." Liam whispered, eyes adverting downwards at the floor, in fear of looking up at the male who now had a finger tracing along his skin. Starting at just below his eye, and down to the swell of his bum. Louis' hands were being so gentle. So soft... he squeezed Liam's thighs lightly, playfully. Liam giggled to himself. His Louis was there. He wasn't so sure for how long, but every little second always counted in Liam's eyes.

"My football bag yeah?" Louis whispered, removing the scarf to press little open mouthed kisses to Liam's exposed skin. Paying more attention to the bruising already visible. "I already checked my football bag Liam. Don't lie to me." The demeanour change was instant. Louis was digging his hips into Liam's, Liam pressed up against the counter. "You better tell me where it is baby."

"I told you Lou... that was the last place I saw it." Liam choked, he didn't want Louis this close anymore. It was uncomfortable, he could feel his bump he was sure. He could feel it. Louis would figure it out, starting asking questions and Liam wasn't so keen on being littered with more purple and blue bruises along his sensitive skin. Not yet.

Louis gave Liam one hard shove to the left when he noticed the top of a little plastic packet sticking out of the jar, he'd left it in, although he wouldn't admit it.

"Daddy's got some things to take care of princess. Sleep tight." Louis shouted as he grabbed the packet and slammed the door behind him.

Liam was burning up inside. Louis couldn't just keep treating him like this. He searched the cupboards, taking out every little plastic baggie he found with that powder inside of it. He grabbed the Tupperware container Louis kept in his bedside drawer. He opened each bag of powder into the toilet and flushed it. Tears were jerking free and sobs were fighting their way out of his throat, his clunched fists wiping harshly at his eyes occasionally. Liam trashed it all.

Louis would be mad, and he realised that after everything was gone. Liam sat and stared at where Louis' merchandise had gone and his lips quirked up into a smile. He placed a hand on his tummy and sigh a breath of sudden relief. "Daddy will be back soon bubba." Liam whispered before he got up and went to his room, he was just thinking. Louis would be pissed when he found out Liam had gotten rid of his stash. So he began trashing everything.

He jerked open drawers, messed up Louis and his clothes. He jerked things out from under his bed. He went downstairs, he broke a few things. He pulled open cabinet doors and flipped some of the furniture (as carefully as he could). He made the place look like a mess. He smiled contently and left the door ajar, scribbling down on a piece of paper that he was seeing his mum, since she called and wanted to see him. He knew he'd still get it for 'you didn't latch the door and somebody fucked with our shit' but he knew it wouldn't be as bad as if Louis figuring out he was the one that got rid of his "happy items."

Liam grabbed his phone and left the door ajar a bit before he drove himself to his mothers.

It was another hour and a half before Liam got a call from Louis. "Liam!? Where are you? Are you okay?" He was shouting and Liam couldn't help, tracing a small pattern along the bottom of his belly, smiling slightly at the growing skin. Louis was being /his/ Louis. The one he fell in love with.

"I'm at mums... I left a note." Liam said, mocking the most obvious tone.

"Someone broke into the fucking house." Louis breathed. "The door was open and everything is trashed." Liam could hear him groaning about cleaning up such a mess.

"Is anything missing?" Liam asked.

"Not that I can report legally." Louis sighed and Liam just pursed his lips, subtly smiling again. He had done a great job.

"I'm on my way home... we can clean up everything together." Liam suggested.

"Yeah, hurry back yeah? I brought you something." Louis smiled. "S'taken me all season to get so I hope you're in absolute love with it."

"Im on my way Lou." Liam whispered, letting out a huge sigh sigh, his shoulders relaxing easily. Louis was back. His Louis was back! "I love you."

"I love you too, darling. Be safe." Louis finished and the phone call was concluded. Liam's heart suddenly feeling like it was going to explode.

Liam driving home to see what in God's name Louis could have gotten him. But then he realised. He's been asking for the same thing for years. He'd been asking for a car that runs more than fifty percent of the time.

"Louis..." he sighed as he pulled up to the house, seeing Louis' smile ear to ear as he looked at him. "You're back." He whispered more to himself.

"Did you see what I got you? It's pretty innit?" Louis asked, arms tightly winding themselves around Liam's waist, face dropping into the swell of his neck.

Liam could feel the burning in his chest, his legs feeling like jelly, the tears swelling unwillingly up in his eyes as he basked in the moment he had just been welcomed with. His Louis was cuddling him like he use too. Soft touches and lingering kisses.

"It's beautiful Louis. Love it" Liam replied, barely audible but it was still there "thanks heaps love." He added, before lifting his head and connecting his fingers with his hair. His bottom lip quivering sadly.

"Fucking hell Louis. Don't leave me again." He cried, his forehead pressing against Louis' jutted out lips. "I missed you."


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis get's protective of Liam.  
> they cuddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow updates! it's hard to find time to update!
> 
> please comment and give us your opinions :)
> 
> -K and C

 

 

Louis had invited a few of his mates over and Liam was busy making sure to keep a beer ready for Louis. He knew he wouldn't be afraid to hit him in front of his friends. He'd done it before and his friends took no notice of it, just treated it like it was something normal for Louis to be doing, a normal behaviour to smack Liam over the back of the head because he wasn't doing 'something' right. As per usual.

Liam hated Louis' friends just as much as he hated Louis' attitude. They were annoying and they always flirted with Liam behind Louis' back and that just pissed him off a bit. He wasn't a major one for words, or fighting back but he was sure if they didn't cut it out they'd have a problem. Not just with him, but also with Louis, because he was bound to start noticing and sensing Liam's uncomfortableness. Liam was quite easy to read when he wasn't comfortable with something, he was like an open book.

Liam knew he might get in trouble with Louis for not being hospitable with his friends but it'd be worth it. "Liam, love. I need another drink." Louis spoke up and Liam nodded politely, he rose to his feet and slowly wandered off to the back porch where Louis had since placed his new bar fridge, it was never empty either, and that alone made Liam cringe, he grabbed a beer before wandering back into the living room with it stored securely in his hands.

Stan and Calvin had been sitting there laughing along with Louis for at least an hour. Stan kept stealing glances at Liam, which rightfully pissed Louis off and Liam was momentarily glad that he had finally noticed their sly behaviour . "Mate, you think you can look at something other than my husband?"

"Hmm?" Stan said as he looked at his friend quietly. He was playing the usual, dumb innocent card as he sat still and sipped on his beer softly, one thing Liam knew about Louis' friends was they were quite good at handling their liquor, unlike Louis, but then again Louis drank so much of it so quickly it wasn't a surprise really.

"Keep your eyes off what's mine, understand?" Louis practically growled before he turned in his seat a little to look at Liam. "Darling, why don't you come sit on my lap... yeah?" Louis smiled politely, ushering Liam over, but lightly patting his own lap, he had even placed his beer down on the table so he could securely hold Liam when he did eventually come over.

Liam melted at that. He loved Louis' smile so much. So he took a seat on Louis' lap. Louis' arm immediately hooking around his back, fingers rubbing at his hip. Which caused Liam to squirm under his skin. He can't hide the baby forever, he knew that. But he surely wasn't ready to let him know now.

Just so Liam felt more comfortable in his own skin, he linked their hands together lightly, slightly because he was a bit scared Louis might hit him if he come off to 'sudden' and secondly because he didn't want to seen desperate, but once he felt Louis curling him closer, so he was perched against Louis' shoulders, he sighed somewhat contently and shifted into the warmth of Louis' skin, he like this feeling, and he wanted to soak it all up whilst he was given the chance.

Louis knew his friends were looking at Liam quite often, so he would run his hands up Liam's shirt, or kiss his neck and Liam was loving the sweet and affectionate attention he was being given, he didn't protest because Louis was in control and he didn't want the sweetness to stop just yet. Liam felt like a lap dog, one of those ones whose owner only showed them love and attention whenever they wanted too, and he was that dog that took all the attention he was given. Big or small it didn't matter.

Louis was littering love bites up Liam's neck freely and Liam willingly had his neck tilted to the side, still holding Louis' hands in his own, he had his eyes closed and lips slightly ajar, anybody else would find this extremely uncomfortable, it was like foreplay and anybody would think Louis was going to take this further with the way he had his hands all over Liam's body, but Liam didn't mind because his hormones had gone crazy ages ago. It was like he had fallen in love with Louis all over again and he honestly didn't care because any time with Louis like this was well worth it. Liam would clean his diary and become a servant if it meant he would be given this much affection from Louis so willingly, and he hadn't even finished his second drink yet.

It made Liam feel good because over the past week he had been feeling so poorly, not just physically but emotionally as well, Harry his one and only true friend was in this wonderful relationship with this beautiful blonde boy, who we was flattering gorgeous Liam was jealous already. He knew Harry wouldn't harm a fly and that his relationship was already better off compared to Liam's. He guessed he felt jealous and overwhelmed at how much he wanted a relationship like Harry's again, it was hard for him to go about his day, waking up before Louis. (who was usually passed out on the couch or in bed.) He would vomit, brush his teeth, vomit some more then eat and go out on a run with Loki, another one of Liam's positive sources. Loki, his beloved dog. He would usually jog for fifteen and then walk for an hour, watching the female yoga class by the beach every morning, the countless sweet couples holding hands whilst their dogs were off running about with a ball. He would see families, he would pause and stand there for a moment just rubbing his belly, and sometimes he'll cry and wonder where the hell he went wrong, other times he just move one like he hadn't even noticed.

Liam being Liam, always gave himself to much time to ponder life, he would sit there, hands in his lap and eyes fixated on a picture or painting and he'd be like a statue, sometimes he would laugh, yell, cry, fight. But usually he sat as still as he could, he would close his eyes and breathe in through his mouth and out through his nose, it was meditating, but it was so calming and relaxing that it soothed not only his mind but his body as well. Before Louis raises he makes breakfast, even if Louis doesn't eat it, he still cooks it up, places it on the table and sit there with a fake arse smile on his lips, just to be convincing, some mornings Louis will kiss him, other mornings it's the cold shoulder or even a light shove.

And that is why Liam feels so deflated some days, but the days like today are the ones that make him forget about the negativity of everything else. Because despite everything, Louis is loving him, if it's for a second, a minute or an hour, he takes what he gets and laps it up as much as he can, if it's sex, it's sex, if it's cuddling, it's cuddling. Nothing changes and Liam wouldn't mind if he could have that once a day, which makes his wonder if he should tell Louis he is pregnant, but then he always ways up the pros and cons, and comes out with more cons then pros, and he deflates all over again.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam has his ultrasound done, and may or may not have told Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> kudos and comments would be appreciated. x
> 
> -Celina and Kahlia

 

 

 

Louis had made it clear to Liam that the house was to be spotless when he'd gotten home and that he was to have made sure that everything was in order for Louis' football match the following weekend. Louis actually wanted to bring Liam along, and that for one was something amazing.  
So, Liam got up earlier than he expected and began to clean the house. After he'd rearranged Louis' bureau and pressed his shirts, he'd grabbed clothes of his own to wear for the day. Once he'd successfully picked out his outfit, he'd ran a hot bath. He had extra time, so why not have a bath? Liam's little bump protruding through the not so deep water he'd put in the tub.

  
Liam's fingertips just graced along his tummy, smiling that little smile as he hummed. "We're gonna tell your daddy soon, I promise... Just a little longer bubba... just a little longer." Liam smiled and soaked in the water for about another ten minutes. He then stood up, rinsed off and began to do his daily routine of washing his hair and body and getting dry from the shower.

  
He'd styled his hair like he normally would, up so it wasn't hanging in his eyes (since he hasn't cut it in a while, it's grown out pretty long). Then he'd looked over himself in the mirror, his chest was a little swollen but he didn't mind. It matched his swollen tummy. The life that was inside him made him happy, even if he had bruises and bones that ached. When Liam had gotten dressed he'd placed on jeans and a nicer shirt, wrapping a scarf around his bruised throat.

  
He looked cute, you would say. Louis would think he looked amazing. Too amazing to be going out in. Once he was ready, teeth brushed and vitamins downed, he phoned Harry. "H?" Liam muttered after the ringer was answered.

  
"Oh Liam! Hey! I was just about to call you!" Harry laughed softly. "You still want me to pick you up right?"  
"Yeah, yeah. If you can." Liam smiled.

  
"Is it possible for me to maybe bring Niall along? I mean, if you're not comfortable I won't." Harry stammered and Liam chuckled.

  
"Yeah, Yeah. You guys can help me pick out names. Of course he can come." Liam kept laughing and he placed a hand on his tummy, the sweater he'd pulled on covered the bump.  
-  
Niall sat in the back on the way to the doctor and giggled off a ton of names for Liam to suggest. Of course Harry talked about the boy, showed pictures. He'd even seen them together a few times, but this was the first time Liam was ever formally introduced. Now, Niall couldn't shut up. "What about Oliver for a boy... and if you want Olivia for a girl." he laughed.  
"Nah Ni. Liam doesn't like either of those." Harry would answer and Liam's face would just get entirely too red. Harry knew him better than anyone (besides Louis, Louis knew him the best). Of course he could tell which names he did and didn't like.  
"What about Aiken?" Niall smiled. "Actually no, Haz' if we ever have a baby boy I wanna call him Aiken." Niall giggled and Harry just smiled, shaking his head.  
"when are you telling Louis?" Harry asked Liam, completely ignoring his blonde boyfriend rattling off baby names. Liam only shrugged. He didn't know exactly when he'd tell him, but hopefully he would soon.  
“it’s hard I guess, to find the right time. Louis is in the prime of his career.” Liam replied, it was always an awkward conversation, and he guessed Harry sensed it as he pushed it no further. Liam shifted uneasily in his seat, clasping his hands together in his lap and turning to stare out the window, the rain was belting down now and Liam wished it would settle down, he hated the rain.

Upon arrive at the appointment he texted Louis to let him know he would be out for an hour or so, he didn’t want to risk Louis hunting him down or screaming through the phone in the middle of his ultrasound, this was meant to be a moment between the baby and parents or parent in this case.

Sitting in the waiting room was the most boring part. Liam was left flipping through trashy magazines talking about Angelina and Brad’s rumored divorce or Taylor Swift’s new lover. Liam wasn’t interested really, until he found the football players of the month section. Louis’ name was printed clearly across the top of the page with his picture. It made Liam feel overwhelmingly proud, a smile tugging up on his lips as he read over the comments other favourited players had said about him.

Eventually he was called in for his appointment and he took Harry and Niall in with him. Pulling his shirt up was always the tricky part, he was always cautious of the fact that he might just have bruises littering his skin or a permanent scar, because he wasn’t so sure if he’d be able to lie his way out of it anymore.

He laid down on the firm rubber bed, and slowly pulled his shirt up, revealing the small but noticeable swell, his belly jutted out and was finally starting to look like a normal baby bump, it was becoming a little bit harder to hide now, but he was proud that he’d gotten their child over the twelve week mark, he was in the clear. Liam was hoping that this baby would help Louis change, that maybe his husband would wake up and realize that he has other responsibilities now.

The polite nurse wheeled the machine closer and applied the cold and clear gel onto his rounded out bump, she lightly pressed the wand down and moments later the pleasing and relaxing thumping sound of a baby’s heartbeat flooded the small room, it made Liam overwhelmed and he was crying before he had even seen the ultrasound monitor. It made everything so much more real, so much more promising. He needed this baby more than he needed his Louis back. This baby was what he believed was going to mend their broken and abused relationship, because if it couldn’t nothing can.

Seeing their baby on the screen in front of him is nearly twice as overwhelming as hearing the heartbeat, he has a fistful of the jumper he is wearing curled up against his eyes as he cries. He is so thankful and grateful. This baby was going to be such a miracle, and he was pleased with himself for getting it this far.

Liam nearly texted Louis with the news but remembered he hadn’t quite gotten that far yet. He had to tell him, he knew that he just didn’t know when or how. It was complicated for Liam, because he was afraid that if he did tell Louis, the older lad would go out of his way to kill the fetus.

"Congratulations Liam, it's a boy." The nurse grinned, grabbing Liam a handful of tissues and lightly wiped his eyes for him, he was so emotional he was bawling his eyes out, sobbing into the rubber bedding underneath.

He could hear Harry and Niall whispering about the gender, Niall gushing out names. It was sweet, Liam really liked Niall, it was pretty true that opposites attract. Niall was like Louis and Harry was like Liam, just in so many different ways.

The nurse let him calm down and whilst he was doing so he wiped his belly clean and sat up, the next bit was the boring part. The nurse would sit and go over his records, make sure he is eating right, scribble information down in the little blue book he carried everything. He made sure to remember to bring it to every class, it had everything about his baby to what blood type he was. She messaged his waist to see how much more he'd expanded and filled in the 'sex' section.  
Liam was still trying to come to terms with how real this was. How utterly perfect their baby was going to be. Bits of him but also bits of Louis. It made his insides bubble and burst. Liam was going to have this baby, even if it killed him.

He missed most of what the nurse said, and just stared lovingly at the sonogram for the whole time. It was utterly overwhelming, he felt perfect for a moment. Like he was finally doing something right.  
The drive home was entertaining, listening to Niall call out appalling names. They weren't bad until he started riddling off what he finds 'unique'. It even had Harry cringing.

When Harry dropped him home he was going to invite them inside for a cuppa when he realized Louis' car was in the driveway. So instead he bundled up his things, said goodbye and made plans to meet up with them the next day. He then moved up and towards the house, it actually made him feel tense and uneasy about himself whenever he came home when Louis already was.

As he wandered inside he noticed Louis sitting on the couch, a bottle of vodka in one hand and a joint laying on the coffee table in front of him. Liam didn’t know how long Louis had been sitting there for, staring blankly off into space. He didn’t know how high or drunk he was, and times like this scared Liam. The brunette could already feel the fear bubbling up in the pit of his stomach, swirling around. He stilled where he was standing and decided not to make any sudden movements. Things like that seemed to set Louis off.

Eventually Louis turned his attention towards Liam, the younger lad already getting ready to cower if Louis started yelling, he was bracing himself, using his bag and jumper as extra padding to protect his belly. He was even more in love with his baby now, so he was going to go to every extend to prevent it from getting hurt.

“Liam, sweetheart. Where have you been?” Louis started, raising from his position on the couch, roughly tossing the vodka bottle on the coffee table. Liam grimaced, stepping back slightly when he felt Louis angrily grab his jumper sleeve. “out with friends again? cheating on me maybe? come on Liam, you don’t have to lie to me.” Louis hissed, leaning in close to Liam’s face as he gritted his teeth purposely. Louis then abruptly grabbed Liam’s jaw, yanking his face up so he could look Liam in the eyes. His nostrils flaring.

“Lou- I’m not cheating on you, where did you get that from?” Liam asked, he was scared out of his mind, it had been a while since Louis had touched him like this, with anger and abuse. He thought Louis was taking a turn to the better side, that he’d backed off on the drug intake. But Louis high was never pretty.

“I know you have Liam! don’t fucking lie to me!” Louis growled, the grip on Liam’s jaw tightening as Louis’ other hand grabbed Liam’s left wrist forcibly and twisted it. Tears swelled up in Liam’s eyes instantly, Louis was hurting him again. “You need to fucking stop lying to me Liam!” he yelled again, leaning in and biting Liam’s bottom lip.

“I-I swear Lou. I-I’m not lying.” Liam whimpered, trying his best not to cry, he couldn’t cry in front of Louis now, it’d only mean Louis had won and then that creates more bad behaviour from Louis.

“Stop. Fucking. Lying.” Louis snarled, backing Liam up into the table behind them. Liam was shitting himself, breathing out shakily as his spare hand moved to shield his belly, dropping the items he had clutched in his fingers to do so. His lips were moving but nothing was coming out, and the stream of long and steady tears was a clear sign that Liam was beyond frightened

“I was w-with Harry a-and Niall. L-Lou” Liam cried out, shifting his hands up to try and pull Louis’ hands away “L-Louis please, tha-that hurts.”

“give me a good reason why I should let go Liam! Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t plant my fist firmly into your pathetic face right this second!” Louis yelled, teeth gritted as he raised his fist and tightened his grip on Liam’s chin.

“Louis, stop. I’m pregnant” Liam cried out “I’m carrying your baby, stop.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “oh, does he know the gender.”
> 
> “yeah, it's a boy.” Niall replied, he was clinging onto Harry’s arm quite firmly. Smiling awkwardly.
> 
> “can you suggest the name Alfie to him for me?”
> 
> “of course we can. Go home Louis. Sleep.” Harry whispered, closing his car door gently. They stayed outside until his car was out of sight and Harry let out of a shaky sigh.

[  
](http://25.media.tumblr.com/a21044756fe56bf5cf8ef6a77d4f292e/tumblr_mfpn8zuxrX1qcc65po3_250.gif)

 

 

 

Liam woke up the morning after he’d told Louis his secret in utter stillness. Nothing in the house was moving, he couldn’t hear a thing. It was just pure white noise. Which was unusual as his walls are paper thin. He’d sat up, hearing the satisfying pop of his bones and he could feel the ache in his knee from where he tripped over the coffee table the night before. 

He’d taken a look around the room and frowned when he’d saw the picture of him and Louis knocked to the ground. How could he not have heard that? Then he’d started noticing the small things he hadn’t moments before… Louis’ dresser drawers were flung open, Louis’ football bag was missing, Louis’ shelf on the shoe rack was completely emptied. 

Liam’s senses kicked into panic mode. Louis was sober, and Louis left. That would be the only explanation, wouldn’t it? Liam scrambled to his feet and moved towards the bathroom. He was going to double check that Louis wasn’t in the shower… He then made his way to the kitchen to check there, the living room, no. Laundry room, no. Basement, nothing. 

Liam could feel the tears swelling in his eyes as he placed his hands on his stomach. Louis really left him. Liam just sat down for his morning cuppa and just thought to himself. Why would Louis do this? Why would he just leave him. The answer was uncertain to Liam, but he knew he just couldn’t stay here. 

Rushing over to the counter, to where his cellphone was plugged into the charger. He dialled Harry, hoping he’d answer. “Hello?” he could hear the deep voice something laced in the way he talked… sleep. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry I woke you up.” Liam figured suddenly. 

“Hey, it’s no problem. What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?” 

“Yeah… the baby’s fine… I uhm… I’m not.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Louis left…” Liam could feel his voice breaking, could hear it shaking. 

“Haz.. babe? Get off the phoneeeee.” Liam could hear Niall in the background and Liam couldn’t help but smile. Harry deserved someone like him. 

“Ni, it’s Liam.” 

“Oh! In that case, Hi Liam!” He shouted and Liam chuckled, wiping a tear he hadn’t had a clue that fell. 

“Hey, hey. Wait. What do you mean Louis has left? you guys have been fine? he’s been fine.” Harry said deeply, Liam could easily tell that he had a shallow crease line on his forehead and that his eyebrows were knitted. He let out a long sigh, if only Harry had of known. 

“It’s complicated...I just- Can I come to yours? I can’t be here anymore.” Liam asked, his voice had gone up an octave, he was trying to stop himself from crying like a fool. But his heart had literally broken. 

“of course you can Liam, I’ll put the kettle on.” Harry reassured “we need to have a good chat.” Harry said, with such concern in his voice. Liam nodded and went about quickly packing up a small bag for himself. He couldn't risk anything, not now.

As he drove to Harry’s he thought about where Louis actually might be. If he was okay, if he was sober or high, if he was trying to figure everything out. Liam couldn't tell anymore. His Louis had become a monster and he wanted the Louis he fell in love with and married to come back. 

He had his left hand curled around the swell of his bump, rubbing soft circles into the tense skin, Liam needed his son to know that even if his other father wasn’t around, Liam was more than willing to be both and give him everything he needed. The love and endearment that a baby loves and deserves. 

As he pulled into Harry’s driveway he noticed the curly haired lad standing by the front door, and he instantly started crying. Body shaking as he climbed out of his car and fell into Harry’s soothing grip as soon as he reached him “he's g-gone Haz.” Liam hiccupped “he left u-us.” 

Harry wrapped his arms around Liam tightly and pressed a small kiss onto his head. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright.” Harry whispered and helped Liam inside. Niall was sitting on the couch, that stupid grin he’s always wearing was plastered onto his face, faltering slightly the moment he saw how wrecked Liam was. “Ni? Why don’t you go set up the guest room for Liam… he’s gonna be staying there.” Harry said, helping Liam sit on the couch.

Niall ran up the stairs and into the guest bedroom, he wasn’t the best at comforting people. Harry knew that, he knew that crying boys made Niall extremely uncomfortable. “I can’t believe he’s actually gone.” Liam whispered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Harry caught sight of yet another bruise, forming right under the collar of Liam’s sweater. Liam noticed he did, and he only sighed. “Louis hit me.” He said quietly, figuring there’s no need to keep his secret anymore. Louis’ gone, so what would it matter?

“Louis what!?” Harry’s voice rose as he took a step back from Liam. Harry also knew Liam didn’t like being yelled at. Something Louis clearly didn’t know or understand.

“Uh…” Liam sniffled up his tears once again. “Louis… when he’s been drinking…” Liam left out high. “When he’s drinking he gets violent… that’s all.” Liam whispered and shrugged, cradling his arms over his tummy.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?!” Harry tried to calm down, he really tried.

“because I knew you would’ve reacted like this, and I didn’t want Louis to get hurt. He doesn’t mean it, he deadset doesn’t mean it Harry, I know my Louis is still in there somewhere.” Liam cried “he might’ve hit me and called me names but I saw glimpses of him, I saw my Louis. I-I'm just not so sure anymore.” Liam hiccupped, curling back into Harry instantly. 

“no Liam, no! You do not deserve to be treated like this! I'm not having this! You're carrying a baby for christ sake! Just- I know you love him, but look what he did to you!” Harry raged, pushing Liam’s jumper sleeve up to usher at the bruises. Harry’s nostrils were flaring and it looked all too familiar to Liam, his eyes welling up with new fresh tears again. “You can't give him another chance Liam, you just can't.” 

Liam nodded sadly, running his open palms against his stomach as he flopped onto the couch and pressed his head into the cushion. He had never feared Louis in his life before until now. He was always so welcoming and gentle, Liam was practically his prince. He wanted to know where the time had gone.

He was rolling his heavy wedding band around his finger as he stared at the ceiling, face sore and red with deep tear stains on the sides on his eyes. His nose was stuffy and blocked and his hands were drawing patterns into his widening waist. He had this part of Louis to love and cherish now. A part of them both that was created when they both loved each other unconditionally, when they lived for each other and Liam didn't know what domestic violence felt like.

Niall and Harry helped him upstairs fifteen minutes later, getting him stationed in the cozy double bed in the quest bedroom. He sat up and scrolled through his twitter for a while. Favouriting and retweeting things until he came across a tweet about Louis and shut his phone off. Louis was gone. /his/ Louis was gone, destroyed by a monster. Murdered. Liam was left to cherish and remember every good moment he could. Their first kiss, first touch, first love, first fight. They were young, but they were also so perfect. Liam admired Louis so much, his passion and determination to get what he wanted and never give up, he loved Louis for everything. Absolutely everything. Including the bits Louis disliked about himself. 

He fell asleep like that, aching for a loving touch and wishing he was young again, wrapped up in the arms of his lover, the Louis Tomlinson who hadn't quite figured out what he wanted to do when finished school yet. The Louis Tomlinson who was so multi talented that he had too many things to choose from. The Louis Tomlinson who only had admiration for Liam in his eyes. 

Niall had slept on the couch last night, Harry was in the reclining chair. It wasn’t comfortable and maybe that’s why it was so easy for him to wake up when he heard the doorbell. He looked over at Harry and then sat up, yawning to himself as he went and peeked through the window, opening it up. “Can I help you, sir?” Niall asked, as the man’s back was to them.

Niall could see he was a little shorter than he was, his hair was tousled up and he wore a football uniform. “I uhm… Is Liam here?” Niall could also hear the high pitched voice that came out of the boys mouth when he turned around.

“Yeah! You must be Louis!” Niall smiled. Niall didn’t know truly what happened, Liam just said they were fighting. Harry didn’t tell him anything. Louis smiled and shrugged shyly, Niall stepping aside to let him in.

Harry switched positions in the chair and opened his eyes to see Niall letting Louis in the house, and the boy shot up. “What are you doing here!?” He asked, his voice groggy from sleep. Harry’s eyes traced down Louis to his hand where he saw a small bouquet. “He doesn’t want to see you. He’s not comfortable being around you anymore.”

“and how would you know that Harry? I’m married to him. He’s my husband.” Louis spat back, he shoved passed Niall spitefully and tried to peer down the hallway and up the stairs.

“Louis, he doesn't want to see you. He is frightened, he is distraught but he is also pregnant. You both need to have a break from one another I think. You need to seek some help Louis. Because what you've done is very very bad. It's called domestic violence.” Harry said softly, holding his hands out in front of himself waringly. 

“don't you dare, tell me what to fucking do. You have no right Harry. Absolutely no right, I have never liked you? Are you screwing my husband? Is that why he's here. Oh that makes sense now. You're fucking my husband aren’t you? That baby isn't even mine is it?” Louis fumed, the bouquet of flowers now in Niall’s hands since Louis had thrown them across the room a moment ago.

“No, I am not with Liam. Me and Liam have never done anything together Louis, I'm with Niall. He's behind you see? Niall is my boyfriend. Why don't you sit down. You need to calm down, please.” 

“no. I don't wanna calm down Harry. I just want to see Liam. Why can't I see Liam? Why are you preventing me from seeing my own husband?” Louis asked, his fists balled up angrily.

“look at you, you're frightening Niall, you're scaring me. You need to calm down, you are irrational, we're not going to let you near Liam in this state of mind. You need to relax, then we might consider it.” Harry assured. Louis dropped his arms and sagged his shoulders, glancing between them both.

“I just wanna see Liam. One second please.” Louis tried, his eyes were glossing over and his lips were quivering. “I just want to know that he's okay. I don't even have to speak to him, can't I just see him?” Louis cried, he was sitting on the floor now with his head in his hands crying. “I don’t want him to be scared of me. I don't mean it. I really do love him.” he whispered, he was resting his head against the cushion on the floor. 

“he's okay Lou, he's upset and tired. But he's perfectly okay. Give or take a few bruises.” Harry said softly, he was crouching down by Louis’ now. “all Liam wants to do is keep his baby safe. He's made it this far, and he loves you too. A lot. But sometimes you have to sacrifice some things for others and if you aren't willing to change then Liam isn’t going to come back. You can't hit people Louis, that's very very bad.” 

“can I - Can I just see him? One second. I won't even talk to him, I just wanna see him. I just need to see him with my own eyes and then I'll go. Please.” Louis sniffled.

Harry sighed, glancing across at Niall before nodding curtly. Niall shuffled over after Harry had one arm holding Louis’ left bicep and he grabbed the brunette right. They slowly wandered upstairs and angled Louis into the guest room. Liam was asleep on his side, belly propped up with pillows and his hair still stuck to his eyes. One hand perched on the side of his belly as he slept. Harry tightened his grip slightly as Louis’ hiccuped sadly.

“he looks peaceful. I never realized I was this bad. I- he's- I wanna get help. I wanna go back to normal. I wanna be okay, I don't want to hit him anymore. I want our baby to be happy. I want Liam happy.” Louis nodded, holding his sleeve against his eyes.

Harry sighed, rubbing Louis’ back gently “come on Louis, let's get you home. We can discuss this further in the morning. We'll send you to rehab and get you back on the right track.”

“and Liam?” Louis asked “what's gonna happen to him and the baby.”

“they'll stay here with us until you're deemed ‘approachable or well’ again. They'll be fine. I promise.” Harry assured “nothing will help to them here.”

Harry helped Louis downstairs and back into his car. Niall handing him a few tissues and removing the slack of beer from the back seat, Louis was about to protest but remembered ‘rehab, baby, liam.’ 

‘Harry” Louis said quietly, lightly grabbing his arm when the curly hair laid tried to close the car door “can you tell Liam I was here and that I love him, tell him I'm going to get help. Can I call him tomorrow?” Louis asked.

“I'll let you know Louis, you just get home safe. We will talk more tomorrow. But I'll tell him you came by. Promise.”

“before I go, tell him I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him.”

“he knows that Louis, we all know that. That's why you're going to get help.”

“oh, does he know the gender.”

“yeah, it's a boy.” Niall replied, he was clinging onto Harry’s arm quite firmly. Smiling awkwardly.

“can you suggest the name Alfie to him for me?”

“of course we can. Go home Louis. Sleep.” Harry whispered, closing his car door gently. They stayed outside until his car was out of sight and Harry let out of a shaky sigh.

“wow. He really shook me up.” Niall whispered.

“we have to keep him on that rehab path. Louis needs help.” Harry nodded. “poor Liam. God, why didn't I figure this all out earlier?”

“we didn't know. Liam thought he was going to get Louis back.”

“oh but Niall, he will. He definitely will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy ! sorry it took us so long to get anything out for you ! We've been quite busy!
> 
> feedback would be really appreciated.
> 
> -Kahlia & Celina


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis phones Liam to tell him he's going to rehab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we apologize for the lack of updates ! we're both very busy at the moment.
> 
> Hope you enjoy !
> 
> Kahlia and Celina.

Liam was exhausted. He didn't normally stay up as long as he did the night before. He was lying in the bed in Harry's guest room, and he couldn't shake Louis from his mind. Louis, Louis, Louis. Liam rubbed small circles on the sides of his swollen baby bump and he swear he could feel the movement inside of him. Even if it was minuscule. 

 

Liam smiled to himself as he closed his eyes again. He definitely wasn't liking the fact that he was up this early. He hadn't been up at 4:30a.m. in forever and he would have liked to keep it that way. he had no reason to be awake now that he was at Harry's and Niall's without Louis.

 

He would have had to get up in a few hours to make Louis breakfast. That's just how it went. Liam looked at his phone and sighed quietly, seeing the six unanswered messages from yesterday by Louis. Liam couldn't answer him. Louis just left him, after he said he was pregnant. But maybe he just needed to work up his own courage to answer them. 

 

'hey' sent @ 3:26pm.

 

'baby i miss u' sent @ 5:28pm.

 

'come home pls' sent @ 6:32pm.

 

'darling im sorry' sent @ 7:54pm.

 

'liam..' sent @ 8:12pm.

 

'sorry...' sent @ 11:41pm.

 

Just as Liam scrolled through the messages a new one popped up on his screen.

 

'I know you might be asleep... but if you're awake is it okay If i call and talk to you? I miss your voice.' sent @ 4:37am.

 

‘i miss yours too lou, I am awake.’ sent @ 4:39am.

 

‘can I call ?’ sent @ 4:41am.

 

‘yes’ sent @ 4:43am.

 

Not four minutes later Liam’s phone was ringing and he was swiping his fingers along the accept button, Liam pressed his phone to his ear and breathed in hesitantly, it felt strange, but also so so different at the same time.

 

“Li, hey.” Louis said softly, Liam could imagine him laying in the dark exactly like he was, just trying to comprehend what was going on for them both at that current moment, they had practically told one another that they need to have a back from one another and it was a lot more difficult than ever expected.

 

“hey Lou.” Liam replied simply, he felt a bit more at ease now that he’d gotten to hear Louis’ voice again, his soft and caring voice, it was something Liam had nearly forgotten Louis had.

 

“Bug, I am so sorry for everything that I did, Liam I can’t even beginning to describe how I feel and how badly I want to hit myself for doing it, I love you so much, with all my heart and I want you to know that I love our baby too, I know right at this very moment I’m not safe that I could get so caught up in my own thoughts again and I am sorry that I put our little boy in such harm, I’m extremely sorry, to the both of you.” Louis said sincerely, he hadn’t realized what he’d lost until it was gone and it felt terrible.

 

Liam was hiccupping tearfully on the other end of the phone, trying to compose himself long enough to reply, he hadn’t heard Louis apologize in ages and it felt so different and he was so grateful “Lou, tha-that means a lot to me. You saying all these things to me mean more than anything and I appreciate it” Liam replied, he felt slightly overwhelmed.

 

“Does our baby have a name?” Louis asked, he was curious. He knew he wasn’t all that great of a person at that current time but he still wanted to suggest a name to Liam, just so he knew he’d have an input on the whole thing. 

 

“Not yet, I have thought of a few but nothing has taken my liking yet.” Liam sighed, he had Louis on speaker, the phone stationed on his chest so he could rub the aching spot on his belly. Their son was going wild.

 

“What about Alfie? I mean I’m not that great of a person right now and you don’t even have to consider it, but it’s just nice for me to know that I had a input even if you don’t like it. God I’m so sorry Bug.”

 

“Alfie, I actually quite like that. Thanks for the suggestion Lou, I am glad you’re having a say in all this, it feels nice to be honest.” Liam stated, it was true Liam felt so much happier when Louis had a say.

 

“oh! so you do like the name? that’s wonderful.” Louis exclaimed and wow, Liam could feel his heart hurting, his Louis was back and he didn’t know what else to do. This was a fine example of why Liam fell in love with the bubbly brunette. “But, Bug. You’re not going to be able to see me for a little while.” Louis said softly, so quietly it was barely audible.

 

“what why?”

 

“I’ve checked myself into Rehab, I haven’t put a time on it, they will release me whenever they think I am ready. I will be allowed visitors, but only on special occasions, I mean. It’s going to suck but it’s going to be worth it.”

 

“Oh Lou.”

 

"hey, it's alright. It's going to be a good thing." Louis sighed quietly and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't want Liam to worry about this, he knew it was the right decision. For Liam and their baby.

 

"I'm not upset, Lou... I want you better... I know this is a good thing." Liam mumbled and continued to rub at the ache in his stomach, moving towards his hips. 

 

"I love you, you know... That's why I'm doing this." Louis sighed quietly. 

 

"I know and I'm really glad that you are doing this... It's more than I could ever ask for." Liam smiled in the vast darkness. "I miss you..." Liam admitted and the line was silent for a while and Liam thought he might have screwed up.

 

But he hadn't. Louis was just smiling on his side. "I miss you too my love. We'll be together again soon... I promise." Louis muttered. Liam pulled his phone back to look at the time. 5:21 am. 

"I should go... It's early and Harry and Niall always get up pretty early." Liam mumbled and Louis just sighed.

"Alright dear, I love you. Don't forget that, please? I know it seems like I don't but I swear I do... With all my heart and soul. I want what's best for you and the baby." 

"Goodnight Louis." Liam muttered.

"Goodnight Liam." 

Liam hung up the phone and smiled to himself. His Louis was going to be back. The one that made him pancakes and gave him back massages. The one that held his hand in social altercations. The one that touched and caressed as tenderly as possible. The Louis he fell in love with. The Louis that meant the world to him. Somewhere between his thoughts, he drifted into a peaceful and happy sleep. The first one that had been felt in years. 

 

When Liam woke up it was to Harry and Niall hovering over the bed with tea and pancakes. He sat up and shuffled his bum back, resting his hands on his belly delicately. Once the plate was securely between his legs he turned to the two lads.

“I spoke to Louis this morning.” he said softly, frightened to break the perfect silence. He was to happy.

“yeah? What did he say?” Harry asked, sitting at the foot of the bed and giving Liam’s knee a gentle pat.

“that he's going to rehab. That he loves me, he's sorry for what he did.” Liam replied, his arm curling instinctively under his swell of a bump.

“that's good.” 

“we named our son to. His name is Alfie” Liam said tearfully, he was going to miss his Louis. Not the Louis that just left, but the Louis, Liam knew deep down was there. His Louis. The one he married, the one who spoke to him on the phone.

“that's gorgeous Liam.” Niall grinned, it a genuine smile and he was generally happy for Liam.

“thanks, I'll probably head home soon, clean up the mess Louis made, plan Alfie’s nursery. It's going to be a bit weird to be home alone. I'll probably still jump when something falls. But it's a healing process. No more bruises or battle scars from this day forward.” Liam grinned, he was using his jumper sleeve to dab his eyes “plus, at the end of all this mess, I'll have both my boys. Two healthy and happy boys.” 

Niall slipped down beside Liam on the bed and wrapped his arms around him, prompting him to rest his head on his shoulder “whatever happens me and Haz will back you one hundred percent. We will help you whenever you need it. What Louis is doing is good Li, I'm sure you already know that. This is all really good. All of it.” Niall said. Liam smiled at him sadly and curled his arms around his waist. 

“Louis is going to come back so perfect and so ready to be a daddy. I know he'll be the perfect father. It's just been torn down by the drug and alcohol influence at the moment. Louis is going to come back as the Louis I married.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has a set back in rehab and it leaves Liam wondering if letting Louis ever come home is a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking by us guy and reading this fic, we are really sorry for our lack of updates but we are working on the next chapter already so we can get a schedule started for this story. 
> 
> please leave us kudos and comments because they're greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Kahlia and Celina.

“Mr. Tomlinson, Louis isn’t allowed visitors today.” the receptionist said, Liam was trying his hardest to check into see his husband. “I can’t give out any information.”

“Well… get me someone who can. I need to know what’s going on with him.” Liam was frowning. He couldn’t handle not knowing what was wrong with his Louis. What even could be wrong with him? He couldn’t relapse here. This was a safe place for him. 

The receptionist sighed and asked Liam to have a seat as she made her way to a room behind the desk. Liam felt his chest get heavy, the what if’s were scrolling through his head, was it really safe to keep Alfie around Louis? What if Louis got high or drunk or both and hurt Alfie? Liam closed his eyes and rubbed his stomach, trying to will the thoughts away.

When Liam opened his eyes he saw a man come out of the room with the receptionist. He sat up a little straighter and caught the woman’s eye. She was talking to the man and motioned over to Liam. Liam wanted to slap himself, how could he have been stupid enough to believe Louis wanted to change?

“Excuse me? Mr. Tomlinson? My name is Henry Rollins, and I’m Louis’ primary caregiver here. I administer medication and keep an eye on him and get him basically whatever he needs. Talk to him if it’s needed..” Henry held his hand out for Liam to shake. 

Liam pushed himself out of the chair, with only a slight amount of effort. He shook Henry’s hand. “So you can tell me what’s wrong with him? No one else is giving me any answers around here.” Liam sighed.

“Louis is experiencing a small set back in his recovery. But he’s contained to where he won’t be a threat to himself or others-”

“I want to see him.” Liam’s voice was firm. He’d be damned if he left here without seeing his husband. 

Henry just sighed, “I don’t advise that as a smart idea. With the state he’s in right now.”

“He’s my husband. I want to see him.” if looks could kill, the look Liam gave to Henry would have him six feet under.

“Alright… Just remember he’s not in a clear state at the moment.” Henry sighed and lead Liam down a hall, leaving Liam to his thoughts as they walked. What if he actually hurts himself this time? What if he never gets better? What if they put him on tons of medication that keep him from being that happy go lucky Louis that Liam fell in love with? What if Louis unintentionally hurt the baby? 

Henry stopped in front of a room with a brownish-red door. He made sure Liam was okay before he slid his keycard through the slot. Henry opened the door to a small dark room. There was only one light hanging from the ceiling and there was a glass panel on one side of it. There was a door on the left side of the glass panel. Henry stepped in and flipped the light switch, turning the only light on. 

Liam took a look inside before he completely stepped inside, and he caught a glimpse of the shape of a small man sitting on the other side of the glass. He was sitting at a table, playing cards were spread across the table top. Liam looked over it more thoroughly, there was a bed, a toilet, a sink but it had no mirror above it. There was a table with four chairs and Liam frowned. They were treating his baby like a test subject. “Why did you move him in here? His other room was so much nicer.”

“This one is a lot safer for him, and we’re able to monitor and make sure he is safe.” Henry explained.

Liam took another look and Louis’ head was in his hands. His fringe was a mess. Louis never liked his hair like that. “Can I talk to him?” Louis was crying, it wasn’t a loud cry, which made Liam’s heart hurt even more than it had walking into the room. “Please, let me talk to him.” 

Henry sighed, “let me warn you… He has these headaches… He’s got a few abrasions from hitting his head… That’s the main reason we had to move him in here. Make sure he’s being properly cared for if that were to happen again.”

“Why didn’t anyone call me?” Liam frowned, moving to open the door. Henry placed his hand on the handle before Liam could reach it. “Listen, Henry, I don’t know who you think you are but I’m Louis husband. Pregnant husband, might I add. I want to see him. I want him to know I’m here for him and that everything is okay. That he’s in there for his safety. He’s not just something you guys want to drive crazy. He’s a human being that has feelings. None of you are taking account of that. You’re locking him up and driving him crazy.” 

Henry shook his head, “He needs time to calm down before he sees you, Mr. Tomlinson. I’m sorry. You can wait in here. If he’s okay to see before visiting hours are over, you can take him out to the courtyard for some fresh air.” 

“what do you want me to do whilst I wait? Because I'm not going anywhere until I've spoken to him.” Liam replied with anger etched in his voice. Liam was feeling quite bitter. 

“I can pull you up a chair and you can sit by the window for a bit. We’ll see if he notices you and how he reacts. He if takes it alright then we will consider letting you take him out for some fresh air.” Henry said as he pulled a chair up for Liam. The brunette easily took a seat and shuffled as close to the window as he could get. His knees pressed against the wall behind the see through glass window. 

He pressed his hand against the glass gently in an act to try and get Louis’ attention. It took him a few minutes but eventually the sad blue eyed lad lifted his wet face out of his palms and stared across at Liam. He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when he saw the state of Louis, from his sad eyes to his bruised forehead. 

Louis pressed his forehead against the glass and rubbed his wet eyes with his fists. He looked so distressed, Liam was actually concerned about Louis’ health and wellbeing. He pressed his spare hand to his active baby bump and closed his eyes for a moment, he had so many doubts running around his head. 

“what did you do to him?” Liam asked, turning to face Henry with an angry glare in his eyes. He just could not accept that Louis was willing to be like this. 

“Mr. Tomlinson, we have done no harm to your husband. This sometimes happens in drug cases. His headaches are from his withdrawal syndrome. Which will get better with time.” Henry reassured. Liam let out a long sigh and turned his attention back to Louis, who was staring at him through the window. His eyes drooping noticeably.

“can I please talk to him now? He looks placid.” Liam said, Henry gave it thought for a minute before agreeing. He was going to let Liam talk to Louis in the courtyard, it was easy to monitor him there and it also provided him with some fresh air. 

Liam loitered behind Louis until they were both in said courtyard. Liam took a seat opposite Louis and very carefully took his hands, running his thumb gently over Louis’ skin. He stared at his husband’s bruised head, the redness under his eyes and the paleness of his skin. He took in the way Louis was staring at the table, tears welling up in his blue eyes as he glanced at Liam’s hands. “I want to go home Liam.” Louis hiccupped “I don't want to be here anymore. I promise to be normal.” 

Liam stared at Louis’ desperate face and sucked in a harsh breath, he needed advice on whether he thought Louis was going to be safe around their baby. He needed to work out if letting Louis come home was going to be a good idea. He needed to think of their son’s safety. He was worried Louis was broken enough that he was beyond repairable. 

Liam stayed silent for a few more beats, just rubbing Louis’ hand in a soothing matter before he said anything “why are you doing this to yourself Lou? I thought you said you were getting better?” Liam asked.

“I am Liam, I am! I promise. I promise I am. But my head. The pain is unbearable some days and I need a breatha. I'm not allowed anything for the pain, nothing. How am I meant to function properly with headaches?” Louis said, his eyes falling sad as he tightened his hold on Liam’s hands. His lips quivering “I'm sorry I did this to you.” 

Liam closed his eyes and pursed his lips in an attempt to stop himself from crying. He needed to stay composed. He rubbed his eyes subtly with his sleeves and averted his eyes down to his pregnant self. “I know you're sorry Lou, it just doesn't change the fact that you did it. You still went out and got drunk and you still got high and you still hit me. I'm still waiting for a proper explanation. I'm sorry you're in pain but you need to realize that we don't have to feel sorry for you, we choose to feel sorry for you because we love you and we want to see you get better. So please. Please Lou, accept this as your punishment and strive to get better.” 

“Liam, you don’t understand… I don’t know why I did those things. I really don’t. But that isn’t me now. I’m so sorry. Just take me home… I’ll feel better at home.” Louis pleaded. His eyes were dull, Liam had never seen him like that. He just sighed. 

“I’ll think about it…” Liam told him to appease the older. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Liam didn’t wanna bring Louis home if he wasn’t fully recovered and Liam definitely didn’t want to risk anything happening to their baby. “Just let me have some time.”

“Li… They’re driving me mad. I need to go home. Please…” Louis was begging, squeezing Liam’s hands with all the strength he could muster, which wasn’t much at all. Liam could feel his heart breaking. 

“Give me some time, Lou.” Liam sighed again. This wasn’t something he could just give in to, considering the circumstances surrounding the situation. Louis closed his eyes and rested his head on Liam’s shoulder. Maybe he could get some quality rest without having to keep his eyes open for those dumbass doctors who’ve locked him away in a prison cell for a living space. Liam kissed Louis’ head and rested his arms around him. 

Liam needed Louis to get better, Liam needed Louis around. “I need to get you back inside to rest, darling.” He stood up, bracing Louis as he walked next to him. Louis silently hating everything about this place and how he couldn’t go home. 

“I love you…” Louis whispered, stopping in front of his wretched door. “I don’t wanna go in there.” His voice was barely audible. 

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Liam kissed Louis on the forehead, careful of his black and blue spots. “Get some rest, please.” He whispered and turned his back to Louis’ sad eyes as Henry opened the door for Louis. Liam didn’t look back. 

~*~

Liam didn’t go back the next day, he balled himself up and hid at Harry and Niall’s. Harry trying to coax Liam out of his guest bedroom long enough to just shower, maybe. “Dude? What happened to put you in this mood?” He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, handing Liam a cup of tea.

“I dunno what I’m going to do about Louis. I don’t know if I can stay with him for the simple fact that we have a baby on the way and what if he relapses and hurts Alfie? What if he hits me again and Alfie sees? I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to face him until I know. I also hate being home. I hate remembering what he used to do to me there.” 

“Well… have you considered moving?” Harry asked. “Finding another place may be beneficial for you, and Louis. You guys can focus on decorating and putting together Alfie’s nursery. If you really want to keep him in yours and Alfie’s lives.”

“That’s actually a semi-good idea, H.” Liam half laughed and Harry squeezed his shin. “I just don’t know what I wanna do with Louis yet. I’m scared of him. Scared of what he’s capable of.”

“That not a relationship you want to be apart of then.” Harry replied sadly. 

“But I also want to help him and I know he didn’t do any of that sober. He didn’t know what he was doing.” Liam sighed and rubbed his face. He never wanted to have to think about this. “I don’t want him to be alone in this.”

“Liam, at the end of the day the decision is purely up to you, personally I think Louis is a good guy who happened it get in with the wrong crowd. But I generally think he has gotten better. But that's the opinion I have formulated from when I last saw him. You need to work out what you wanna do on your own. Not from my opinion or anybody else's for that matter. Go and have a shower and think about it.” Harry said as he gave Liam a quick hug and a squeeze of the shoulders. 

Liam had a long shower, just so he could process everything and let it all fall together in his head. He rested his hands on his belly whilst he stared at the ceiling and tried to blink away his tears. He let his brain ponder his thoughts for so long when he looked down at his hands next, he'd gone so wrinkly he realized he'd probably been in the shower for to long. 

He continued to think over dinner and decided to go with what felt best to him. He opened his phone   
and dialled the rehabilitation centre's number. Pressing it to his ear he let out a long shaky breath.

“Hi, I'm calling in regards to Louis Tomlinson? Yes. I'd like to request for him to continue his rehab at home.”


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam visited Louis' mums and continued to house hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter!  
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated. 
> 
> \- Kahlia & Celina

Liam had set up a time to pick Louis up in two weeks, he was bringing him home. Liam wanted to do some digging around and find a new place for them to live. He didn’t want Louis coming back to that house, maybe it would send him reeling backwards.

He decided to pack up his things and drive to Louis’ first home with his mother and siblings. Louis never visited this place anymore, he always met up with his family when they were in town. Liam had texted Jay to let him know he’d be coming and looking for places near by and he would appreciate it very much if he could crash there and talk with her about some things. She always answered with loving words and heart emojis.

Liam drove in silence, his radio wasn’t even playing. He could feel his baby moving around, though. That little feeling made Liam smile and turn on the radio. Someone had mentioned Louis’ name and he tried his best to zone out. He didn’t want to hear what the public thought about him. 

He was good at football and that’s all they needed to know and think.

Liam pulled into Jay’s, smiling when he saw Lottie and the twins in the front garden, playing with their newest puppy. He parked his car and climbed out, trying to move around his oversized bump. “Hey!” Liam grinned as his legs were swarmed by two curly mop tops. 

Both of their babbling was talked over by their older sister, “Hey, Liam! Mum said you were coming to stay for a little while. She’s inside making tea.”

“Alright, thank you.” Liam smiled and ruffled the hair on the twins, heading inside. “Jay?” He called once he stepped in.

“In the kitchen, sweets!” She called back. He followed her voice and found her making the tea Lottie said she was. “How’ve you been? It’s been forever since you and Lou have stopped by for a visit. Oh look at you! There’s my grandbaby!” She grinned and moved over to pull Liam in for a hug. Liam wrapped his arms around her fondly and squeezed.

“I’m great. Yeah, it has been a while. But with your permission I was hoping, Louis and I could stay here when he comes home. I’m still hunting for a new place.” 

“That’s perfectly fine with me. I miss my baby, so so much.” She lit up every time she heard Louis’ name. Once a mumma’s boy, always a mumma’s boy. “Here sweetheart, let’s get you some sun and some tea. You look like you’ve been missing out on that Vitamin D.” She smiled and made Liam a cup of what Louis referred to as his mum’s famous tea. 

Liam and his mother-in-law sat in the sunroom, Liam was half afraid of getting a sunburn and Jay was just watching the miracles she made, even if she was missing one. “How’s my Lou?” She asked.

“He’s doing… better?” Liam tried to answer with words that were actually accurate. “He wants to come home and I want to bring him home. But he’s just so passive when we talk.” 

“He’s been like that since he was a child, Liam. I don’t believe it’s anything you’ve done. He had a lot of trouble in school.” Jay answered as she sipped from her mug. “He was never afraid to be who he was. From a young age he was always really true to himself. He loved football, acting, singing, boys. He was always the one we could count on to be honest. Sure he was mischievous but he always told the truth about it.” 

Liam could only nod, maybe he recognised a Louis like that at one time. But the Louis he knew now only told lies, he only made himself happy, he lied to himself about who he was and who he was becoming.

“When Louis got into secondary school, everyone started noticing that he wasn’t really into dating the girls who wanted to be with him.” She explained. “They called him some horrid names. His closest friends weren’t his friends anymore. He was all alone. My little baby.” She teared up slightly and then sighed. “He would cry to me and ask what was wrong with him. He would ask why nobody wanted to be his friend. Why none of his old friends would talk to him or sleepover. All I could say was that he was perfect.” 

“That’s awful.”

“It was. He’d saw his father hit me a few times before we left him. He was only small then, but I knew it affected him negatively. He was always strategic with his friends. He was always around when my boyfriend at the time was over. To see him breaking about something as simple as who he’s attracted to really hurt me as a mother. It hurt him and he started looking for other friends. He started drinking and smoking by the time his last year of secondary came around. He was still the sweetest boy anyone could imagine. He was still pursuing football, and then he met you and you changed his life around for awhile.” She smiled. Liam was listening to her as carefully as he could. He needed to absorb all this information into make it easier to understand. 

“You and that baby have been the highlights of his life. He was so madly in love, he still is. It’s just buried in the shell that he’s built around himself at the moment. It’ll break free once he’s fully recovered. Wait and see darling.”

“Thank you for telling me this… It gives me a little more of an insight into what he’s dealing with.” 

She nodded quietly, gazing ahead as if she was still thinking. “I’m 100 percent certain that that baby will really help you two in your relationship.”

Liam hoped so, he wanted Louis to be his happy go lucky self again and it really meant to the most to him that Jay consider him a positive link in her son’s life. He sipped his tea and talked to Jay at the table until dinner, where he gave her a hand in preparing spaghetti. Once dinner was done and the girls were washing the dishes Liam had a shower and and got into his pyjamas. He ended up surfing the real estate websites on the internet for a while.

Sleeping in an unfamiliar bed gave him a stiff back but he wasn't lonely and he likes the feeling of having a motherly touch again. Something he thought Louis might be craving a bit of at the moment. 

The next day Harry and Niall dropped by to pick him and the two older girls up for his appointment. He got comfortable in the backseat of Harry’s huge range rover and curved his hand around his bump fondly. 

The wait to see the doctor was a long drawn out process but eventually he was called in and placed on the hard, tiny bed. He scrunched his shirt up and smiled across at the others, Lottie was smiling fondly at Liam as she held his hand.

Alfie was getting so big and Liam couldn't quite believe his eyes at how proud he was of himself for getting his baby this far with no problems. He listened to his son's heartbeat in awe as he tried to use his jumper sleeve as a tissue. When he glanced back at the ultrasound machine, Alfie had put his fist in his mouth and his little feet were moving happily. Liam cried more after that. 

He laid there for what felt like forever just listening to the harmonizing beat of Alfie’s heart, moving fluttering against his hand as he cleaned the gel off his skin and carefully sat up. He smiled across at the girls and spoke with his doctor for a while. 

-:-  
“hey Lou.” Liam said fondly as he sat down across from his husband and took his hands gently in his own. Louis was smiling back at Liam tiredly, Liam thought Louis looked cute in his sleepy state, bundled up in a oversized jumper with his hair tucked up in a beanie. 

“you came to see me after all.” Louis said happily, a small quirk in his lips as he ran his thumb along the back of Liam’s hand. 

“of course I did.” Liam replied as he fished his most recent sonogram out of his back pocket. He carefully pushed it across the table so it was in Louis’ eyeline and gave his hand a firm squeeze. Louis removed his hand from Liam’s so he could pick up the sonogram and his eyes immediately began to water. 

“is this Alfie?” Louis asked, glancing across at Liam’s face for a second “he's so big now.” he said as he ran his fingers against the photo paper and wiped his wet eyes “he has his fist in his mouth, that's so cute.” he hiccupped “I wish I was there Li” 

“I wish you were there as well bug, but you'll probably get to be at the next one.” Liam grinned.

“what do you mean? I have to stay here for at least another month and a half.” Louis replied with a frown on his face. Liam wrapped his fingers back around Louis’ and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“well, I've been speaking to your unit and they've agreed to let you finish your course of rehab at home. I think an assessor comes by like once a week and checks in on you to make sure I'm not letting you relapse and you need to see your therapist once every two weeks.” Liam informed as he watched Louis’ face. His husband eyes starting to well up with wet tears again as he buried his face into Liam’s hands.

“thank you so much Liam, thank you. I'm not going to ever be like that again. I'm never going to touch any of that stuff again. I promise. I'm going to be here for you and Alfie.” he explained as he stared at Liam with his wet eyes. 

Liam felt his own eyes welling up at how happy Louis was and he used his shoulder to wipe his eyes. “but I've put the house of the market and we're both staying at your mum's until we can find a new place, together. I just think our old place holds to many bad memories so I don't think it's great for just to go back there.” 

“fair enough, I'd like to start fresh. Raise Alfie in a place that doesn't make us think about all the awful things I did to you.” Louis said sincerely as he gave Liam’s hands a firm squeeze. Liam believed him.

“well, good. Because I've found a few places I want to look at and I've already spoken to the real estate agent about listing our old place.” 

Louis nodded and played with Liam’s hands for a moment before he glanced back up at Liam with a happy grin on his face “so, when do I get to go home?” 

“in two weeks Lou.” Liam said with a big smile on his face. He was glad Louis was coming home.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally gets to go home and Liam is nearing his due date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post this chapter and we both just finished writing chapter eleven, so you're getting back to back updates today !  
> enjoy
> 
> \- Kahlia and Celina x

After an excruciating two weeks on Louis’ end, Liam had shown up just like he promised, ready to take him home. Liam was checking him out when Henry had brought Louis out. He was wearing a light grey tracksuit and his hair was being kept back by a headband. He was dragging his suitcase along behind him.

“Hey darling.” Liam grinned. “You ready to go?” 

Louis nodded and gave Liam a warm smile, glancing at Henry before he pulled his bags towards the doors, Liam following closely. “I don’t want to come back here.” Louis mumbled once they were out of earshot of the front desk. 

“Hopefully you won’t have to come back.” Liam rubbed Louis’ shoulder gently and got into the driver’s seat. Louis buckled his seatbelt as he relaxed in the passenger’s seat, it felt so nice to be sitting in Liam’s car again. After so long. “Are you ready to get some real rest?” Liam asked as he turned his car on. 

“I really am.” Louis nodded. “I never felt well rested in that place.” Louis glanced in the mirror, looking at the facility through the glass and he closed his eyes. “Is it okay if I just sleep?”

“Of course it is.” Liam replied and Louis sat his seat back, crossing his arms over his chest and he slid a pair of Liam’s sunglasses on so the sun wouldn’t affect his nap. Liam couldn’t help the happiness filling in his chest. He had his two best boys right there in the car with him. One on his right and the other in his belly. 

He couldn't help but snapping a picture of Louis with his phone when he stopped to get petrol. He sent the picture to Niall, Harry and both their mum’s. He felt just as overwhelmed as Louis did about having him home. Even if their home was Louis’ mum’s place until they relocated. 

Driving home Liam kept staring across at Louis and he felt himself getting a bit emotional as he drove. He couldn't quite wrap his head around that fact that Louis was coming home with him. Somewhere in his mind he never thought Louis would ever be coming home. 

Once he arrived home he helped Louis into bed, where he left the lad napping whilst he helped Jay make lunch. He knew Louis hadn't been eating right either, especially with his fussy appetite. He made Louis a hot cup of tea and a salad sandwich. As he wandered down the hallway he was overwhelmed with sudden joy. He had both his boys, in one piece in his immediate care. 

“hey bug.” Liam cooed as he leaned down against the double bed and gave Louis’ hands a soft squeeze “I made you some lunch.” 

Louis sat up and gave Liam a hug, curling his arms around Liam’s protruding waist and burying his face into his neck as he mumbled incoherent words. Liam relaxed into the soft touch, even though his natural instinct was to wiggle his way out and bolt. 

“thank you Liam, that was awfully sweet of you.” Louis replied through his squinted eyes with a soft but comfortable smile. He was curling his fingers through Liam’s hair as he sat up and leaned against the headboard. 

Liam shrugged in reply as he pecked Louis’ forehead and handed Louis his tea and sandwich. He left Louis to eat it on his own as he shuffled off to retrieve his laptop from the living room. He wanted to show Louis some houses after he'd eaten and showered. 

Jay stopped Liam in the hallway and gave him a hug. “he seems happier. I don't know, I just get a feeling he doesn't feel as awful as he used too. I haven’t seen him this happy since he met you.” Jay said as she gave Liam a squeeze. 

-^-  
“what are you doing, babe?” Louis asked as he towel dried his hair and pulled a shirt over his head. Liam could see how bad the bruising was on Louis’ forehead now that his hair was pushed back of his face. It still made him grimace. 

“house hunting, trying to find that perfect place, but I didn't want to do anything until you had a little look over the ones I bookmarked.” Liam replied as he smiled up at his husband, his left hand rubbing the tender area on his belly. 

“Alright, well let’s have a look then.” Louis said and sat next to Liam, he got comfortable next to his husband and Liam settled the laptop on his lap so Louis could see. “What have you found?” 

“I've been looking in Surrey because I know it's high end and it's a good area to raise children.”

“It is. We need the best place to raise little Alf.” Louis replied with a smile as he rested his left hand on Liam’s tummy. “Also Surrey is beautiful. Alfie will have a nice garden to play in, a beautiful house to grow up in, also the schools. The school system is good there too, yes?”

“From what I know, yeah.” Liam said with a nod and pulled up one of the homes he had his eye on. “This place is really beautiful. I liked it a lot, but what do you think?” Liam moved the laptop so Louis could see. Louis went through the slideshow of photos and made note of how elegant the home looked. The pale whites were a favourite of Louis’.

“I really like this place. The bedrooms are nice, the garden is great. It’s like a gorgeous modern palace, just for us.” Louis was gleaming. 

Liam nodded, “I can get us an appointment to look at it if you’d like Lou.” 

“I’d like that a lot.” Louis replied and smiled. “When do you think you can make it for?”

“Probably this weekend.” Liam smiled and clicked through the photos once more. "I really like this place, the natural lighting is beautiful.”

“I know. I know.” Louis laughed and rolled to lie on his back, smiling up at the ceiling. “It’s so nice to be home.” he sighed happily. “I hated it there.”

Liam shut his laptop and placed it down on the floor before lying beside his husband. “Wanna talk about it?”

“It was just really hard… the withdrawals were awful, but I think i’ve gotten over the worst.” Louis said softly. “I think I’ve really turned myself around. I’m gonna stay clean this time. I promise. For you and for Alfie.”

“I’m very happy with you saying that.” Liam said, eyes a bit damp as he kissed Louis’ cheek. “I think we’ll be okay. As long as you continue with your treatment and we just talk through our problems instead of yelling at one another. We can’t do that anymore. We have to think about our son.”

“I know.” Louis replied “I’m gonna keep up with my treatment and we’re gonna beat this and do it together. I promise.” Louis smiled and pulled the blanket up over his sweat clad lower body and bare torso, “goodnight?” 

“Goodnight. I love you.” Liam smiled softly. Louis grinned and leaned over to kiss Liam.

“I love you too.”

For Liam, sleeping next to Louis again was nearly a strange feeling, but he naturally ended up in Louis’ chest. Liam kept his head tucked against Louis’ body and smiled. He closed his eyes and Louis watched him quietly. 

The loves of his life were right there, right there next to him. He brushed Liam’s hair back with his hand gently and smiled. He knew he’d get better for the two of them. “I promise I’m gonna do this for you two, my love.” he whispered quietly. There was no other place in the world that he wanted to be besides right next to Liam.

And Louis actually wondered how he let himself get to that point, where hurting his precious husband was a thing. Thinking about it now he was beginning to realise that he was a complete and utter imbecile to think hurting the love of his life was good.

And that definitely made Louis strive his want to get better.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam arranges to take Louis lunch, but he doesn't quite get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy ! we're trying to get the chapters out quickly for this story !  
> please leave comments !
> 
> \- Kahlia and Celina.

“Liam! You shouldn’t be carrying that.” Louis sighed as he swiftly moved closer to his husband to grab the two boxes he was trying to maneuver through the doors of their new home in Surrey. The gates that led up to the front of their home was made of stone and it reminded Louis of small cottages you see in films. Their car was parked in front of the door, stacked ceiling high with boxes labelled things that didn’t necessarily correlate with the contents. Liam admired how the muscles under Louis’ skin shifted as he took the boxes from him with a peck on the cheek, “let me get it.”

So Liam did. Liam watched Louis take each box inside with careful precision, setting each in the room the box was labelled. Some for the downstairs bathroom, some for the kitchen, others for the bedrooms and living room. Liam looked out over their back garden and rested his hand on his stomach. Alfie was going to grow up here. They were going to watch him thrive and jump and play all in this home. He was gonna skin his knees and lose his teeth here. He was going to have good days and bad days here. He was going to be loved here. Liam smiled and took it in. 

The fence was high enough that they would have complete privacy and that’s what Liam liked. He didn’t want to have to deal with pesky neighbours in his and Louis’ business. Liam turned his back to the set of double french doors and looked over his living room. Louis had wanted to decorate. He had said they needed “completely new furniture for a completely new house to compliment their completely new life.” They had skylights lining one side of the room and a hanging light in the middle, with a black shade around it. Their area rug was white but so were their sofas. Their accent pillows were black, white, and striped. Liam loved the ottoman. 

He opened a box and began pulling out Louis’ trophies and medals, setting them up on a shelf. Louis had installed that shelf himself, Liam remembered. He just smiled. His baby was definitely coming back to him. He’d been home a while now and he was clean as far as Liam knew. No alcohol, no drugs, nothing. Liam looked over at the kitchen and saw his husband unpacking. He fell in love all over again. Everyday this new Louis was with him, he couldn’t help but feel it. 

Louis had been arranging the silverware in a drawer at the end of the island. He’d been so happy these past few weeks and he was glad. They’d closed on the house, he was working again, Liam was close to his due date. His life felt like it had taken a complete 360. He felt like he had so much to do before his little one came. He still had to unpack, set up the nursery, and baby proof the house. Once he had finished unpacking all of the boxes labelled kitchen, he took a step back. His hands were on his hips and a smug smile was on his face. He did alright.

He’d ordered a pizza half an hour ago for he and Liam, knowing he must’ve been starving. He pulled a chair out from their glass top dining table and looked over to smile at his husband, “Hey, come sit? I’ve got the door.” He peeped once Liam had gotten up at the ring. 

“Thank you.” Liam smiled and took his seat. He was more often than not surprised by Louis, still. He knew he’d been changing from who he was, but it was still shocking to say the least. 

Louis nodded and grabbed his wallet, paying for their pizza. He sat it on the table and sat across from his love. “It’s still surreal. That we live here and that Alfie could be here very soon. It’s just crazy to me.” 

“I know what you mean.” Liam admitted as he munched down his first piece of only cheese. “I’m scared we’ll have nothing ready to go when he gets here. There’s still so much we should do. We have to paint his nursery, set up his crib and the other furniture, buy more diapers and wipes, we have to install the carseat, and put the bassinet in our room.”

“Darling, I can do it. I’m home now, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” Louis was working on his second slice as he spoke. “There isn’t anything to worry about. I’ll take care of it. We’ve got time.”

“Barely!” Liam laughed as he finished the crust to the first piece. “I feel like a balloon.”

“You’re a very attractive balloon.” 

“You aren’t supposed to agree with me.” Liam chuckled softly and rolled his eyes. “I think I wanna take a bath in our new bathtub.” 

“I still have to finish unpacking our room and the master bathroom things.”

“That can wait, I just want you to bath with me.” Liam smiled softly and Louis nodded.

“Whatever you want, my love.” 

It made Liam’s heart leap that Louis was agreeing and being so genuine about it. They finished their pizza first, before Liam slipped out of his chair and took to the stairs, using the guard rail to help himself up. Louis was close behind, a hand pressed against his back lightly as they took one step at a time, slowly. 

Liam stopped to grabbed some clean clothes and his robe before he waddled into their ensuite bathroom. He turned the tabs on and let the bath fill up with warm water whilst he hung up his towel and robe on the hooks, on the back of the bathroom door. 

He slipped out of his clothes, trying not let his face get to hot as he stared at Louis’ face. It was the first time he'd been this bare in front of Louis in quite a long time. Louis pressed a kiss against Liam’s forehead and flattened his hands against his protruding belly gently.

“you look gorgeous Liam, stop worrying bub.” Louis assured, before he leaned around Liam and splashed the water around. Once he knew it wasn't to hot, he placed his hands on Liam’s hips and held him steady as the brunette climbed into the bath. Louis slipped in behind him.

Liam leaned against Louis’ skin and closed his eyes, his fingers linking through Louis’ against his active bump. He felt content, happy, like everything was finally looking up. He had the Louis he fell in love with in highschool back, the Louis he said ‘I do’ to, the Louis he wasn't afraid of. He had ‘his’ Louis back and he was eternally grateful. He knew it was still a long road ahead but he was willing to get back on that rollercoaster with Louis.

Louis pressed his lips against Liam’s collarbone, his eyes closing as he just basked in the moment. He didn't want it to end, he didn't want to wake up in the morning and realize that having this, Liam and a baby was all just in his head and he really had lost them both. This is what Louis remembered enjoying before he became the way he did and he was glad he had this back. 

They stayed in the bath until their skin went wrinkly and Liam fell asleep against Louis’ chest, his hands still curled through Louis’ even as he slept. Louis felt bad waking him up, but he did. He helped him get dressed and then helped him into their bed, the only thing that was really standing in their bedroom. Liam grabbed Louis’ hands gently “love you Lou, bug.”

“I love you too, Liam.” 

\-----

“I'll meet you for lunch, there is literally nothing in the fridge because the power still hasn't been put on, so I'll buy you something.” Liam said, he was talking to Louis on the phone whilst he stacked the cupboards with all the food they had left that wasn't going to perish. The power not being on was becoming the bane of Liam’s existence.

“oh, thanks babe.” Louis replied, he was grinning as he sat on the bench, his coach had sidelined him, only letting him do moderate work as he'd missed a lot of training and his body had lost heaps of condition, mostly his muscle and structure. But he was still happy to be back out smelling the dirt and dwell from the grass that had become one the many things he'd missed.

“what do you feel like? A chicken salad?” Liam asked as he fished his car keys out of the clutter that had formed on their kitchen bench. His wallet shoved in his bum pocket as he waddled out to his car.

“yeah, that's perfect. I'll see you soon, drive safe. Love you.” Louis said, he had to hurry the call so he could be involved in the core stretches.

“will do, love you too.” Liam replied as he rang off. He had climbed into his car at this point, still getting used to all the gears and the pedals. Louis having purchased him a more appropriate family car, a chunky suv. 

He pushed the seat back, so his belly wasn't pushed against the steering wheel, his toes were barely touching the pedals as he pulled his seatbelt on and put the car into gear. He was blissfully happy, having Louis back, having Alfie ready to pop out in the next few weeks. He was in his element.

He sang along to some Ed Sheeran as he drove, focusing on getting to the nice salad bar in town. As he glanced ahead he noticed the green light and pressed his foot down on the gas a bit more, eager to get through this set of lights before they turned red. 

Liam hit the intersection, turning his stereo up so he could sing along to the song he liked. Before he knew it the music became a continuous blur, the brake lights of the white car in front of him became a red string of light that kept reappearing every few seconds and soon enough Liam heard and saw….nothing.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis doesn't know whether or not he still has a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> We are really sorry to leave you hanging for so long, I actually forgot to post this chapter ages ago, so I take the blame, oops. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Kahlia & Celina.

Louis was sitting with his legs crossed on the grass by the car park, his sunglasses shielding his eyes as he waited for Liam’s car to pull into his stadium. He'd been sitting there a good twenty minutes now, but he knew the traffic could be horrendous.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket as it began vibrating against his leg. Assuming it was Liam he didn't even look at the caller i.d he just accepted the call and pressed it against his ear.

“Liam, sweetheart, where are you? I'm in the carpark on the grass.” 

“sorry sir, this isn’t Mr. Tomlinson, my name is Sara and I'm a nurse here at East Surrey Hospital. We are contacting you right now as you're Mr. Tomlinson’s next of kin and we'd like you to come down and answer some questions for us if that's alright.” 

Louis’ face paled as he stood up and sprinted back to the locker rooms, he quickly stuffed all his clothes into his bag and made sure he had his keys before he took off towards his car. His eyes becoming damp. “What's happened? Is Liam okay? Is the baby okay?” 

“both Mr. Tomlinson and his baby are in a stable condition at the moment. As his next of kin we are asking for your permission to perform an emergency cesarean section.” Sara informed, Louis was getting frustrated as he slammed his car into gear, her voice now coming through his bluetooth.

“I don't understand, if you take the baby early are they both going to be okay?” Louis asked.

“if we don't do the emergency surgery now, then there is a very likely chance that both Mr. Tomlinson and his baby could die. The risks are there but there is a better percentage that they will both survive if we do go through with the surgery.” 

“then yes, I give you permission to go ahead. Take good care of them please, they're my family.” Louis cried, he was struggling to breathe as he gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“we will do the best we can, I will see you soon Mr. Tomlinson.” Sara replied before ringing off, leaving Louis to cry into his sleeve, his hazard lights on as he sat in the stop lane on the motorway. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard and he barely knew anything yet. He didn't know the extensive of Liam’s injury either.

Louis rang both their parents and Harry, just talking to the three until he was composed enough to drive himself the remainder of the journey to the hospital. But the closer he got, the more anxious he became. 

As he parked his car and gathered up his stuff, he realised what was going on, and he wasn't entirely sure what he was about to be faced with and that in itself scared him, because he'd only just got the two of them back and how he could be losing them both again, but this time permanently.

He found his way into the ICU ward, after multiple stops at many different desks. A petite blonde greeted him with a clipboard, a soft smile on her lips. 

“how can I help you sir?” the woman asked, Louis tapped his fingers on the wood grain counter top and let out a shaky breath.

“I'm here to see my husband, Liam Tomlinson.” Louis replied, his eyes becoming wet again as he stared down the hall. The ICU, the intensive care unit, Louis couldn't even begin to comprehend all this.

“Louis is it? I'm Sara, the nurse who gave you the call. Your husband is still in surgery at the moment, but this would be a great time for you to fill out a bunch of paperwork for us.” she said as she slipped a double sided form onto a clipboard and handed it to Louis with a pen. 

Louis took a seat by the desk and filled out all the boxes, signing it at the bottom before handing it back to Sara, who gave him a sad smile and tapped away on her keyboard.

“when he comes out of surgery he's going to be in room eight, which is the fourth door on the left. His doctor will be in shortly to fill you in on what's happened.” 

\----

“so you're telling me that Liam is the fucking victim of one of your shithead criminals being let out of the watch house early? That this all happened because of one bad decision and everybody thinks this is going to be okay?” Louis ranted, he was pacing the hallway. He was livid.

The officer rested his hand on Louis’ arm gently in a calming matter “it was out of our control and we're deeply sorry for what's happened to your family. I can assure you, that the person who did this has been put away for good.” he said gently as Louis flopped down into a plastic chair and buried his head into his hands. 

\----

“he has a collapsed lung, a broken leg. Fractured and shattered ribs and swelling in his hip. They have him in an induced coma right now and I just - they said he could die mum!” Louis cried, big fat tears were rolling down Louis’ face and he could hardly breathe. He'd taken himself outside to compose himself, barely being able to sit through what the doctor was saying. He just couldn't believe it.

“they won't tell me anything about Alfie, they won't say if he's well or not, he's my baby too mum, I don't understand? Why did this happen? What's going on?” he hiccupped, he really needed to calm down because he was beginning to feel dizzy and he was already seeing double through his wet eyes. His cheeks stinging from the salt in his tears. 

“Take a deep breath, my love.” His mum was calm. “They’ll let you know soon, I’m sure. You just need to relax.” Her voice almost soothed Louis, but he knew there was more to his troubles than his mum was going to be able to fix. Louis wiped his face with the sleeve of his jersey. He’d brought his things but between getting here and worrying about Liam, he hadn’t found the time to change. 

“I’m gonna go back in, hopefully they know something.” 

“Lou, stay level headed, my love. Nothing is going to get done if you raise your voice. It’s just going to frustrate you and upset those around you.” His mother spoke and Louis sighed. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that…” Louis whispered as he stepped through the set of double doors that lead to the reception of the hospital. “I dunno if I can live with something happening to either of them.”

“Stop talking like that.” Her voice was stern. “I’ll be there in an hour, okay? If you still don’t know anything by then, we’ll figure something out.” 

“Okay.” He sighed and rang off after telling her his normal i love you’s. His feet carried him down to room eight and he inhaled sharply. Please, be okay. Louis pushed the door to the room open and he saw Liam lying there. His chest was rising and falling normally. Louis took it as a good sign. 

There were nurses monitoring machines and Louis just sighed. Sara smiled at him sadly and continued to check for changes. Louis took a seat by his bed, “How is Alfie?” He asked once Sara was the only nurse left in the room. She looked at him.

“Alfie?”

“Our son. That’s his name. Alfie.” Louis’ voice was soft. “He’s alright isn’t he?”

“He’s a little on the small side, but as far as we know, he’s a happy and healthy little one. You should be able to see him soon.” She smiled politely, “and about your husband here, he’s been progressing very well. We just lifted his medication a bit. He should come out at anytime now.” She gave Louis’ shoulder a gentle squeeze as she exited the room. Louis wiped the tears from his eyes and held Liam’s hand gently. 

“You’ve gotta get through this.” He whispered. His voice was small and broken. He felt so vulnerable. He couldn’t take another hit. “You can’t leave me like this… Not when things were getting better for us.” He sniffled softly. “Not when you’ve been waiting all this time to meet Alfie, You’ve got to meet him.” Louis kissed the back of Liam’s hand gently. “I wanna meet him with you.” 

Louis felt like he hadn’t slept in days. His eyelids were heavy and so was his heart. Watching the love of his life like this. It hurt him more than any pain has hurt him before. 

Louis swears he had only rested his head for two seconds when he heard, “Mr. Tomlinson?” He lifted himself up and turned in his chair to address who was talking to him. “I have visitors in the waiting room for your husband.” Sara informed, “Should I send them back?”

“Yes, please.” It was his mum. She’d told him she was coming. Sara went off and Louis turned back to Liam. He pressed a kiss against his knuckles and stood to embrace his mum. 

“Oh Lou..” She sighed softly and hugged him as tightly as she could. “Do you know anything more?” She asked as Louis pulled away to offer her his chair. 

“They lightened his medication. Should be out of it at anytime.” Louis scratched his forehead as his mum took a seat in his chair. He looked at Liam quietly, “If he doesn’t come out soon, I dunno what I’m gonna do. I don’t want to meet Alfie without him.”

“I know you don’t… but maybe it’s good you go see him. Get you out of this room and focusing on something else.”

“I know, but I don’t want to leave him.” 

“I know you don’t but Alfie hasn’t met either of you yet. I’m sure having a moment with him will help you relax. Just a little, at least.” She rubbed the part of Louis’ forearm that she could reach from her chair and sighed. Her little boy was struggling and she wished she could do something more.

“Not yet.” Louis sighed and she just nodded as she sat with him in silence, Louis wished could be broken with the sound of Liam’s laughter. Louis wished Liam would smile at little Alfie and tell them they did a good job. Louis wanted to hear Liam say how much he loved their son and how much he loved him. Louis wanted to tell Liam that he did amazing, keeping their baby safe when he was so many other things. 

Louis watched the chest of the love of his life rise and fall on it’s own. He saw Liam’s arm twitch and he moved a little closer. “Li?” 

Liam tried making a small noise and that’s what made Louis start crying happy tears. He knew his baby could do it. Louis glanced at his mum and then grinned, quickly pressing Liam’s call button. Once he did, Liam’s eyes fluttered open slowly. “Lou..?” His voice was gravely and Louis smiled despite himself, as he sat on the edge of Liam’s bed. 

“I’m here. Don’t strain yourself. The doctor will be in in a second.” Louis assured.

“Alfie..?” Liam moved his hand to rub his eyes, feeling pain everywhere in his body. “Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine, my love… Would you like to meet him?” Louis brushed back Liam’s hair and Liam nodded. 

“Yes, please.”

-^-  
Liam could barely move, but with a lot of determination and a few extra pairs of hands, they succeeded in getting Liam into a wheelchair. 

Louis was still stressed to his eyeballs, emotional and exhausted, but his Liam was awake, responding and communicating with him just fine, now he just had to make sure Alfie was okay.

Louis walked beside Liam’s wheelchair as a nurse pushed them down corridors and into lifts. Eventually though, the pair were on floor six, the NICU ward and Louis could feel his heart pounding out of his chest. He subconsciously intertwined his fingers with Liam’s and kissed his knuckles gently.

Liam peered up at Louis from underneath his matted lashes and gave him a wet smile before the nurse rolled them into the room. It was silent, the only noise that could be heard was the sound of the beeping from the babies heart monitors. 

The nurse pushing led them down to an incubator located in the far corner, she cleaned both their hands with disinfectant soap before pushing Liam up so his good hand could reach inside. His eyes became blurry as he began to cry, reaching his hand in he lightly ran his finger down his son’s soft skin, watching the way his chest rose and fell for a minute. Alfie was bigger than most of the other sick babies in the NICU, but he still had a decent amount of cords attached around his skin.

“not long after you woke up this morning Liam, he began breathing on his own and has been ever since. He doesn't appear to have any life threatening injuries and he's actually quite a healthy baby for the circumstances. He's been completely responsive the ways newborns should be. You are both extremely lucky.” she said, before giving them both a pat on the shoulder as she wandered off.

Liam stayed silent for a while, just running his fingers across every inch of Alfie’s skin. The premature newborn was clenching and unclenching his fists around Liam’s pinky finger. His little eyes opening and closing as he sucked on his tiny pacifier. 

Eventually Liam moved aside so Louis could slide his arm in, Louis stuck his hand in beside Liam’s and did the exactly the same thing that Liam did, just enjoying the peace and quiet for a while. 

Alfie began wailing and Liam began panicking, so buttons started pinging obnoxiously loud. A nurse can rushing over and smiled gently “it's okay Liam, he's just hungry.” she assured as another nurse fixed the nubs in Liam’s nose. 

“would you like to feed him Liam?” the nurse asked. Liam nodded eagerly as the same nurse from before shifted Liam’s chair and undid the buttons of the front of his gown. The other nurse carefully detangled Alfie from all the cords before placing him gently down on Liam’s chest. Unfortunately Liam was unable to breastfeed due to all the drugs he'd been on, but they fetched him a bottle and showed him how to correctly feed him. Soon enough, Alfie was quietly slurping some milk, his little eyes closed as his tiny fingers pressed against the bottle.

“my gorgeous Alfie.” Liam cooed as he pressed a kiss to Alfie’s forehead “ daddy's so glad you're okay, munchkin” Liam said softly. Louis snapped a few photos whilst he waited. 

-^-  
They both got a hold, Louis was so emotional and fatigued he all but cried the whole time, just peppering kisses all over Alfie’s skin. The nurses got a few photos for him, before they tucked Alfie away and wheeled Liam back to his floor.

His poor husband had crashed and burned afterwards, all but falling asleep in the wheelchair from all the morphine he had for the pain.

Once Liam was back in bed and napping, Louis opened up his social media and selected one of the photos he took of Liam and Alfie together.

‘today I nearly lost my whole family, the poor family I've done nothing but hurt recently, it really is a wake up call when the things you have taken for granted are nearly taken from you, forever. You all know my story, how bad of a person I've been, but the whole time Liam stood by me, even when he was pregnant.   
This morning, Liam was in a car accident and the only thing that saved them both was a big car and….luck. But here they are, I still don't think I deserve either of them, but today really made me open my eyes and realise that you shouldn't take things for granted.   
Both of them are okay. Liam is talking and responsive (sleeping now) but he does have a big rehabilitation ahead of him.   
Alfie, our beautiful boy Alfie, he's good. Perfect. Wonderful. He's crying, feeding, moving. He's good.   
I'm so unbelievably lucky to be blessed to have them in my life, but they're even more lucky to be alive today.   
So please expect me to off here and off the footy field a little bit longer. Right now I need to be the best Dad and Husband I can be.  
Thanks for understanding and send all your love and wishes to Liam and Alfie.  
Will keep you updated !  
Louis xxxx’ 

And with that, Louis found himself, curling his hands around Liam’s as he dozed off in the hard plastic hospital chair.

He just realized, how much he loved his family and how he definitely needs to be the best person he can be for them right now.

Liam was there for him, now the roles were reversed and Louis was ready to the best he'd ever been for his little family he loved so much.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has Alfie home and he's trying to be the best dad he can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update for you all!
> 
> Kahlia & Celina.

Louis had been home on his own with Alfie for three days. To say Louis was stressed would be an understatement. Louis would call and talk to Liam first thing in the morning, as he changed Alfie’s diaper, fed him a bottle, changed his diaper again, and then got him dressed for the day. Once he was dressed Liam and Louis would say their i love you’s and Louis would buckle Alfie into his car seat and then into the car. 

They would visit Liam with a yummy lunch, which Louis had to almost always sneak in due to Liam’s dietary restrictions. Which Louis was against defying but Liam had just wanted a burger so badly and Louis couldn’t resist his puppy eyes. Louis had made sure Alfie had gotten all of his daddy Liam time in before Liam would get kisses from his husband. 

Louis would take Alfie home once visiting hours were over and try to get his housework done. Louis placed Alfie in his bouncer, setting the setting low. But Alfie’s constant crying made things difficult for Louis to even wash a dish. “Shhh baby boy.” Louis whispered and lifted Alfie back up, bouncing him slightly. 

Alfie would smile and stop crying once Louis picked him up and Louis chuckled, “You’re such a little shit. But I love you.” Louis kissed his forehead and grabbed his phone to snap a picture of Alfie, sending it to Liam and their parents. 

‘My handsome baby! Just like his papa (:’ Liam replied. 

‘You mean like his daddy. He looks just like you x’ Louis replied, but when he didn’t get a reply he figured Liam must’ve been trying to get some rest. 

Louis walked Alfie around their kitchen and once he had heard the soft snores coming from the little one, just like Liam, he placed him in his bouncer again, carefully. 

Louis let out a long sigh of relief once he had Alfie resting in his bouncer, asleep. He shuffled around quietly in the living room, just to be one hundred percent certain that Alfie was asleep.

He became to realise what the true meaning of being a parent meant. He had never stacked a dishwasher so fast in his life, or swept the floor, or done anything for that matter. He just couldn't stand looking at the house so messy anymore. So he took his opportunity and ran with it. Literally.

When Alfie did finally wake up. Louis had just sat down with a cuppa and some biscuit to have a little rest himself. He fixed Alfie a bottle, testing the temperature on the back of his hand before he sat carefully in the living room and fed their son. 

He really did look like Liam, with his cute eyes and lips. He's gotten Louis’ nose and ears. He was just staring at his son with complete love. He’d never loved anything this much until now. Having a baby was precious and so special. Louis felt sick to the stomach just thinking about not having either of his boys in his life. 

“hey, you're a little crier aren't you? Why don't you give Papa a rest hmm? Are you being a cheeky monster?” Louis asked, as he held the bottle carefully. Watching the way Alfie guzzled the milk contently. Louis thumbed away the small pool of milk at the corner of Alfie’s lips. This was where he was meant to be. 

Louis remembered each wrong thing he’d done as he looked at his son. Alfie was so small and he could’ve lost him at any time during Liam’s pregnancy. Alfie’s eyes were closed as he ate and Louis smiled. He had the prettiest brown eyes. Louis leaned back in the chair he was sat in and made sure Alfie was comfortable against his chest. The baby would only stop crying if you were holding him, which Louis saw as an annoyance even though he loved his son more than anything in the world. 

“You need to let papa finish up the chores. So the house is clean for when daddy comes home.” Louis whispered and smiled softly. Something clicked in his head and he was digging out his phone to call Niall and Harry over to watch the baby a while, whilst he finished cleaning and maybe took a small nap. 

-

Niall and Harry were over within an hour of the time they promised to be there. Louis immediately put them on baby duty the second they walked in. He had passed Alfie to Niall, “as long as you’re holding him, he’ll stay quiet and sleep as long as you need him to. I just have to finish cleaning and I can’t do that holding him.” Louis explained and Harry just nodded. He was looking at Niall holding the baby. 

Niall was rocking him carefully, looking like he was meant to be a parent, which Harry would gladly make him in the coming years. 

Louis excused himself and began to clean. He wiped down the kitchen counters and prepared his and Liam’s meals for the week. He dusted the tops of the cabinets and even went through the mail that was stacking up on the island. 

He poked his head into the living room to see Niall and Harry contently lying with the baby and he smiled. Maybe he’d get some rest after all. He went up to Liam and his bedroom and crawled under the comforter. It wasn’t two minutes after his head hit the pillow that he was asleep and he couldn’t have been more thankful for the two downstairs. 

When he woke up, there were stars in the sky and moonlight was flooding from his bedroom window. How long had he slept? He made his way down the stairs shy and embarrassed for keeping them here that long and found a smiling Harry at the bottom of the stairs. “I was about to put him to bed. He’s been asleep for a bit so I thought it was fine.” 

“Yeah. Thank you.” Louis nodded and smiled, “I really appreciate you two coming and helping me out a bit.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Harry smiled at the baby, “Niall loved it. He doesn’t get to hang around little ones very much.” 

“Ahh well.. thank you, again.” Louis replied, giving him a side hug as he carefully took Alfie from Harry. Trying not to wake him as he placed him gently in his bassinet. He had one permanently downstairs now. Once he had Alfie secure and was certain he was still asleep he gave Niall a hug. He waved goodbye from the front door before heading back inside and making himself a cup of tea.

Once he was laying on the couch, He facetimed Liam, making sure he had the volume turned down and he spoke very softly, as he definitely did not want Alfie to walk up.

Louis sipped on his cup of tea slowly as he saw Liam pick up his facetime. He just smiled as soft as his tired body would let him. “Hey babe.” He remembered to keep his voice low. 

“Why are you so quiet?” Liam chuckled softly and sat himself up in his bed a bit. 

“The baby is asleep.” Louis smiled tiredly and closed his eyes for a moment, “Harry and Niall came by and watched him whilst I finished the chores and slept for a bit.” Louis rubbed his chin as he opened his eyes.

Liam just admired his sleepy little husband and smiled, “That was nice of them, you exhausted yet?” 

“Extremely. Can’t wait for you to get home, so we can do this together.” Louis smiled at the screen and took a drink of his tea. 

Liam only nodded, “Well, it’s looking to be relatively soon. Maybe a week, maybe two. They aren’t entirely sure yet.” He looked at his bedsheet and ran the material between his index finger and thumb. “I miss you a lot. I miss Alfie a lot.”

“We both miss you, honey. It’s quieter around here without you.” Louis sat up on the couch to glance at the baby when he heard a bit of rustling. 

Liam smiled. It was refreshing seeing Louis so adamant on being a good father. It brightened his day seeing Louis FaceTime him after being with their baby and it made him even happier when he would FaceTime him with their baby. “He awake?” 

“No, I just thought I heard him moving.” Louis chuckled and shook his head, lying back down. “I keep thinking of seeing you here with him. It’ll be nice.”

“When I get home I may not be able to help out a ton though, Louis.. having restrictions and all.” Liam sighed and glanced over at the door where his nurse was to give him his evening medication. “I love you, Lou. I appreciate you taking care of Alfie so amazingly. You’re such a good dad, but I’ve gotta get off here.” 

“Alright. I love you, baby. Get some rest. We’ll swing by tomorrow.” Louis blew a kiss, watching his screen switch off as Liam hung up. He took a few seconds to listen for any fussing and then he closed his eyes as he laid there on the sofa. 

 

Louis hadn’t realised he'd fallen asleep until he was woken by Alfie’s loud wailing. He sat up abruptly, completely forgetting that he was on the couch. As he shuffled to his feet he stubbed his toe against the coffee table. He swore under his breath and stumbled around until he found the light switch.

“Hey, bubba.” Louis cooed, carefully picking Alfie up out of his bassinet and cradling him against his chest “what's the matter, hmm?” Louis asked as he found his way upstairs and into the messy nursery. Louis had been meaning to clean it up. 

He gently placed Alfie down on the changing table and then went about changing his dirty nappy. He then changed his outfit and took him downstairs to fix him a bottle. It was hard doing it on his own, and now he could only imagine what it would of been like if Liam actually had to do this on his own.

Louis picked up his phone once Alfie was happily guzzling down his bottle. He was holding the bottle up with his shoulder and using his knee to prop up his phone as he unlocked it. He found himself just staring at his phone blankly, eyes a bit wet as he started tearing up all of a sudden. He glanced down at Alfie, his little hands trying to hold the bottle up as he slurped down the food. 

Louis sighed contently, shaking his head fondly “you're just gorgeous aren't you? So precious.” 

-/-

Louis never got anymore sleep after that, Alfie was wide awake and gurgling till the sun rose and Louis busied himself to keep himself awake. Alfie was pretty happy to just sit in his crib and gurgle happily, which Louis was extremely grateful for. 

After breakfast he bundled Alfie up in his cosy winter clothes and buckled him up in the car. He headed over to the hospital and contently headed down to Liam’s room. Liam was already sitting up in bed, smiling happily and making grabby hands towards Alfie. 

Louis’ kissed Liam’s forehead as he placed Alfie into his arms carefully “so, Alfie has been awake since three this morning, telling me all sorts of things.” Louis said as he sat down in the chair beside Liam’s bed. 

“Oh has he now?” Liam laughed, as he curled Alfie against his chest and pressed a kiss against his forehead “What a cheeky monkey.” Liam said fondly.

In Louis opinion, Liam looked a lot better already, he wasn't sure if he was just putting on a brave front for Louis or if he generally was feeling a lot better. But regardless it made Louis feel good when he saw his two boys together, happy, smiling and content. He was just glad that he was able to turn a new leaf and bring some happiness into their lives. Like he should have been all those times ago.

“you alright Boo?” Liam asked, lightly tapping Alfie’s back. 

“yeah Li, I'm really great.” Louis replied, leaning over to lightly rub Liam’s forearm “really great”


End file.
